tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60952272826389224312024-02-07T15:30:13.369-08:00Lisa Adamsdiscovering words | treasuring moments | numbering giftsLisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.comBlogger96125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-52246390179547216032018-02-24T14:44:00.000-08:002018-02-24T18:27:17.897-08:00Dominican Diary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRBQXsd5tyDYI62yt460DKQyCLddsIXtvc7ya0GIrAxmk0odR21uMH4eVj_fThzO2iqYYVclGs8J7MKPaGW487_qY5qnzgXPC39iqBVcd0g-vbLNrF1UI6eWHTadKWuccrddPwuMDgIrc/s1600/IMG_0763.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRBQXsd5tyDYI62yt460DKQyCLddsIXtvc7ya0GIrAxmk0odR21uMH4eVj_fThzO2iqYYVclGs8J7MKPaGW487_qY5qnzgXPC39iqBVcd0g-vbLNrF1UI6eWHTadKWuccrddPwuMDgIrc/s640/IMG_0763.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<h3>
<b style="font-size: xx-large;">Sunday, February 18<sup>th</sup></b></h3>
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My day begins earlier than it needs to, at 1:30 in the
morning to be exact. Yesterday the children left in the morning with Ben’s mom
and sister and after crying and intensely missing them, I started in on the
day’s to-do list of packing and housework and gradually found a relief that the
were gone and a confidence that yes, they would be okay and more than okay,
very fine and having lots of fun without me.</div>
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Ben had to work more overtime yesterday, and by 7:30 at
night when he was done working and I was done packing, we were both so tired we
got in bed and fell asleep. That’s what old age is going to do to us, I
guess—make us unadventurous people who fall asleep at 7:30. It felt so good. No
one to keep us up, no bedtime routine to do, just falling asleep.</div>
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Now waking up Sunday at 1:30, I’ve already slept enough
hours and I’m excited enough about our trip that I can’t fall back asleep.
Outside there is snow, but we’re hoping not enough on the roads to make our
drive difficult. I keep worrying our car will end up sliding into a ditch and
we will miss our flight and our vacation, but now lying in bed I’m actually
able to rest and relax for a little bit and think about our vacation with more
anticipation than anxiety.</div>
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Finally at 4:00 I get up and get ready to go, and we leave
at 5:30. Stepping in sandals into the snow feels so incongruous, but it’s going
to be an incongruous day. We drive to my parents’ house by 6:00, and my dad has
us to the airport by 6:30. It’s so cold in the early morning I’ve kept my heavy
coat on, and I almost forget to hand it to him as we leave. I’m so glad I
remember, because carrying my heavy coat along to the Dominican would be the
last thing I need! Still for a moment in my sweater, maxi skirt, and sandals,
in the snow, I feel cold, and we hurry inside to print our boarding passes.</div>
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We fly infrequently enough that we’re not experts at it.
That’s what I think makes me nervous about travel—we can afford to go on these
vacations only once every several years, which means we are constantly amateurs
about both flying and vacationing. I like to do things that I can do well and
feel experienced about, but for now I’m just going to have to reconcile myself
to the mistakes we will probably make, and hope that none of them go too
terribly wrong.</div>
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As it is, we get through security without losing anything
and get to our gate in plenty of time to have a breakfast sandwich, smoothie,
and coffee. I save most of it to eat on the plane. I’m grateful this travel day
seems like it will be so much easier than our travel to Mexico—that was our
last trip just the two of us, a few years but what really seems like a lifetime
ago, and our travel there was long and complicated. Today, it’s just one plane
flight a few hours long.</div>
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On the plane, I read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Forever
Amber</i>, a tremendously long novel I’m nearing the end of, and eventually eat
my breakfast. I’m just getting tired and planning to have a nap when the pilot
announces our descent. Apparently there is a one-hour time change between
Virginia and the Dominican that I hadn’t taken into account. Anyway, I probably
wouldn’t have slept anyway, and I’m glad to be arriving. I can look down and
see hills and rectangular plots of flat land, all very green, leading to the
deep turquoise of the ocean.</div>
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We arrive in Punta Cana. No one seems to be guiding anyone,
but we follow the crowd from our flight onto a shuttle that takes us into an
open-air building with very weird Day of the Dead-like décor. Here we wait in
line and are eventually instructed to pay $10 per passenger. This trip I went
to the ATM in advance to have dollars and I’m hoping they will work everywhere
and we won’t need to bother with pesos. I’m glad to have them already because
the man we pay to doesn’t seem like he has a credit card machine.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We wait in another line and turn in a form we filled in on
the airplane and get our passports stamped, then wait in a final line and turn
in a last form. Our bags don’t have to go through any kind of security, and
still following the crowd we round a corner to very loud pulsating music. We
start looking for our driver who is supposed to meet us at the airport.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ve always had great experiences with Airbnb, so after
trying and failing to find a resort that fit us and our budget, we ended up
getting an Airbnb apartment on the beach, and the owner will apparently have a
driver for us at the airport. The reviews of the apartment were excellent, but
still I’m afraid something will go wrong. I don’t like that feeling of helplessness
I have in a foreign country—I don’t speak the language, my phone is turned off,
and there is a sea of helpful faces all offering to rent us cars or give us
taxi services, all for a price.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We keep walking and eventually recognize our driver by the
sign he’s carrying, Apartmentos Florisel. We introduce ourselves and he prints
his parking ticket, which takes some time because the machine is broken, but
finally we can leave.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We drive through the streets of Punta Cana, past a movie
theater, our driver honking frequently and seldom looking over his shoulder as
traffic weaves in and out. He points to different landmarks and offers in the
coming days to drive us anywhere we might need to go.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Finally he pulls up to the apartment complex, and we stumble
out with our bags in the sunny parking lot to meet Gricel, the apartment
owner’s assistant with whom I’ve been communicating over email. She is very
friendly in her limited English and shows us the apartment, which is just as
nice as the pictures.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a simple four-bedroom affair—bedroom, bathroom, sitting
area, and kitchen—with a balcony. There are no extras—none of the blankets or
fluffy cushions or pillows I’ve been accustomed to—but in its bareness it is
clean and simple. The bed is soft but only has white sheets, no comforter. The
couch is also comfortable but something you could wipe down with a cloth. All
the floors are hard, no carpets. Everything is understated, well prepared for a
little sand, not prepared at all for any temperature fluctuations.</div>
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By this time I’m dehydrated and hungry and my head aches.
There’s a big container of water in the corner of the kitchen, since the water
here is undrinkable, and I drink two glasses while trying to understand all
Gricel is saying about the apartment.</div>
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She leaves and, relieved to be there, tired and hungry, we
unpack and then take a quick nap. I’m wearing ear plugs, but during my nap I
have a drowsy impression that the neighbors are being very noisy. Once I wake
up fully and take the ear plugs out, the music seems extremely loud. Ben wakes
up and, both of us now grumpy and hungry, we head out to find something to eat.</div>
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The beach, true to the advertisement, is just around the
corner from our apartment, but when we reach it, we find to our dismay that the
pulsating music is coming from a restaurant right on what was advertised as the
apartment complex’s private beach. Every beach chair is taken, and the beach
swarms with people drinking and dancing.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We walk back the other way to the town, down the dirty streets,
wishing there were sidewalks, trying not to lose our way—I’m feeling more than
ever how reliant I am on my phone back home. Here neither Ben nor I are using
our phones and we’re relying only on our navigational skills to make it back to
our apartment.</div>
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I find the culture a bit exhausting—I know I’m tired and I
feel worlds away from snowy Virginia—but here it seems everyone drives scooters
and shouts and smiles and dances and if you make eye contact with anyone they eagerly
assume you want to buy something from them.</div>
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We stop at a restaurant we had found previously online called
Wacamole. It doesn’t look impressive, with a big TV, a bar, and tables squished
in the open air between the bar and the street. But when the food comes, it’s
my favorite—everything fresh and well-seasoned. There’s a big bowl of chunky
guacamole that seems like it was just made, a strawberry mojito filled with
chunks of fresh mint and lime, and shrimp tacos perfectly grilled. After eating
I feel much more optimistic about this place we’ve come to!</div>
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One of the main reasons we do Airbnb is to have an apartment
with a full kitchen so that we don’t need to eat out for every meal, so the next
stop is to a small grocery called the BAM Market. We walk in and it strikes me
like the kind of corner market you would find at a gas station. There are only
a few aisles, and they seem full mostly of alcohol and packaged snacks.</div>
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My head is still aching and I’m not sure how we can make a
meal out of anything here, but we keep looking and eventually pick up canned
beans, canned tuna, eggs (just like in Mexico, not refrigerated), tortillas, pasta,
and pasta sauce. With our hands full of groceries, we try to make our way back
to our apartment, take two wrong turns, but eventually reach it, and put our
food away.</div>
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It’s only 8 p.m. but I am so tired, and the pulsating music
on the beach continues. We both wear ear plugs and are tired enough to go to
sleep in spite of it. At midnight I wake up and the music is still going, but I
fall back asleep.</div>
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<h3>
<b style="font-size: xx-large;">Monday, February 19<sup>th</sup></b></h3>
</div>
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</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After going to bed so early the night before, I wake up at
5:45. Everything is dark and quiet. The music has finally stopped! I’ll be honest
that yesterday I was a bit disappointed. Sometimes I feel keenly how
introverted I am and it was one of those days—I was tired from travel and
wanted nothing more than peace and quiet, but everywhere I turned was unfamiliar
and loud and chaotic. We came to this trip primarily for relaxation and I’m
wondering how much we can relax if our apartment sounds like it’s in the back
of a disco bar.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But for now it is quiet and I’m determined to make the best
of it. I work out, listening to my own music, shower, and then get ready for
the day, listening to a podcast. Then I make myself chai, without milk because
I didn’t see any at the market yesterday, and do my Bible study. Just that
little routine helps to ground me.</div>
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By this time Ben is awake and we go for a walk on the beach,
eager to enjoy it before the music starts up again. This early in the morning,
as the sun just begins to rise, there is hardly anyone out. I can feel myself relaxing
and remembering why I love the beach—sand against my toes, rhythm of the waves.
The water and the air are both the perfect temperature—not uncomfortably cold or
hot, and the sea breezes keep everything feeling fresh and new.</div>
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We come back to our apartment and Ben makes a charming
breakfast considering what few ingredients he’s working with. Then we set out
to see if we can’t buy some fruits and vegetables anywhere. Gricel had
mentioned a fruit truck. It’s not on the street where it is supposed to be and
no one there seems to have heard of it, but as we round another corner we find
a man unloading fruits and vegetables from the back of his truck to sell to a
restaurant. We ask if we can buy and for seven dollars we pick out a couple
onions, a big avocado, a cantaloupe, broccoli, and other produce. He has eggs
in flats on the back of his truck too, but we’d already bought some at the
market. We stop at a different market on the way back and find a couple
oranges, some cheese, and a little bit of milk (boxed and at room temperature,
but it will still work for my chai).</div>
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The rest of the day is reading, sitting at the beach,
jumping in the waves, watching <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Forrest
Gump</i>, cooking and eating our own food … so relaxing and beautiful that I’m
beginning to love being here. I like not having a car, not feeling like we need
to be out driving and seeing and doing things. We keep waiting for the restaurant
music to turn on and for the beach to get rowdy again (maybe at lunchtime? Mid
afternoon? Definitely by dinner …), but it never does, and we wonder if it was
an unusual occurrence or maybe just a weekend thing? The entire day is quiet
and relaxing, just what we wanted, and we go to bed early again.</div>
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<h3>
<b style="font-size: xx-large;">Tuesday, February 20<sup>th</sup></b></h3>
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This morning we set the alarm for 6:00 a.m., because this is
our day to be a bit adventurous and go ziplining and then snorkeling. We booked
our excursion online with Scape Park, the company Gricel recommended, and we’ve
arranged to meet them at 7:50. They offer multiple hotels as pickup locations,
but of course we’re not staying at a hotel, so I found from the list one just
beside our apartment complex that we pass every time we walk into town, Whala
Bavaro.</div>
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After a homemade breakfast and packing our backpack, we’re
out the door and waiting at Whala Bavaro early, at 7:40. I feel excited and
nervous—at home I would have my phone, I would be in communication with whoever
was picking us up, I would know better how to navigate—and I wonder at how much
owning a smart phone has become part of my life, and whether it helps anxiety
or actually increases it.</div>
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7:50, 8:00, 8:10, and the promised transportation does not
arrive. Finally a man in a car pulls up beside us and we ask if he’s from Scape
Park—no, he works with a different excursion company and would gladly schedule
us for something different, had we arranged to meet Scape Park here? They always
pick up at the front gate of Whala Bavaro, which is around the block.</div>
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We hurry there, but by the time we arrive it’s almost 8:20
and we look around and there is no one there to meet us. We walk back to our
apartment and I feel myself pulled toward shame, anxiety, resentment—wishing I
had been able to make the reservation better and that we could have met them at
the correct gate, wondering if we’ll be able to get in touch with them, if we’ll
miss our excursion entirely, if we’ll be able to get a refund?</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We don’t have phone service but at our apartment we do have
WiFi and a laptop, so we email Scape Adventures and explain what happened. I
wash the dishes from our breakfast and work on my attitude. The whole point of
this trip is to relax and have fun and reconnect with Ben.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I was all geared up for ziplining and snorkeling. But,
I need to practice responding to disappointment, being flexible together with Ben,
gracefully adjusting my expectations. So I might not be able to zipline—that is
such a first world problem. So we might lose the money we spent—it is a small
loss. So we went to the wrong entrance at the hotel—we don’t have to be experts
at everything, there’s no shame in that.</div>
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What stretches before me, now that I’ve adjusted my
expectations to it, is another day of relaxing on the beach, reading, spending time
with Ben, maybe a movie or going out to a restaurant—hardly a day to complain
about.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Isn’t so much of our lives like that? We plan for something,
we imagine and anticipate it, and then somehow something changes and we find
ourselves living something different. Maybe our marriage is different from how
we imagined it, maybe our children are, maybe our work is, maybe this life in
our 30s or whatever decade we’re in isn’t what we anticipated when we were in
our teens and 20s. And we can choose whether to resent that or whether to enjoy
the goodness right where we are.</div>
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So as it turns out, we have a beautiful day of enjoying the
beach, reading, relaxing, and eating good food. In the afternoon we watch <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Martian</i>, more for Ben than for me, but
I enjoy it just the same, and I slowly work through Joshilyn Jackson’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Almost Sisters</i>, a book I end up loving.</div>
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<h3>
<b style="font-size: xx-large;">Wednesday, February
21<sup>st</sup></b></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After missing our excursion yesterday morning, Scape Park
emailed back that we could reschedule for today. So we are up at 6:00 again,
which isn’t nearly as hard when you go to bed near 8:30 p.m. Today at 7:50 we manage
to be at the correct gate of the Whala Bavaro hotel. Yesterday I felt anxious
that something might go wrong, which it did. Today I feel so chill—hey, what’s
the worst that could happen? We miss the bus and spend the day on the beach.
Been there, done that, had fun.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
But the bus is there, and we take an hour drive inland to a
big park in the mountains for our zipline adventure. I’ve never zip-lined
before and I really enjoy it. It’s definitely not scary or an adrenaline-pumping
thrill, but it is adventurous and fun. We spend about half our time ziplining
and the other half hiking.</div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I am so grateful for how I haven’t experienced much Lyme
pain on this trip. I’ve felt so healthy. I can hike—including crawling through
a little cave and climbing up the side of my rock—and I feel good. I probably
felt this way all the time in my teens and 20s and just took it for granted,
but now I’m so used to feeling yucky that I get really excited about feeling
good.</div>
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After ziplining, we feel the good kind of tired and hungry,
and we get a complimentary buffet lunch that is probably the best meal we’ve
had on our trip so far. You know when there are huge sections of avocadoes
piled up on a platter that it’s going to be a good meal. I barely get through
the first buffet table with soup and salads before my plate is full; everything
is so fresh and delicious.</div>
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We signed up for a dual excursion, which has two parts and was
really discounted at a good price, so next we go to a very quiet, beautiful
beach. They had advertised snorkeling and I guess there was snorkeling gear
there, but there really wasn’t any ocean life to see in the water, and I don’t
know if there is anywhere here in Punta Cana—I think you would need to go
further out. That said, the beach was beautiful with white sand, gentle
turquoise waves, everything the perfect temperature, sea breezes, palm trees, included
drinks (hello, piña colada). There were boats that we took out a little, but it’s
hard to row against the current, and it was more relaxing to swim. It’s such a beautiful
piece of God’s creation that while you’re there it’s hard to think you ever
were stressed about anything.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWnSOfLaTOBqScEMZ6XJvkc4GqTtDz2NowJruTIgJmgtvhSi0IYXnEoKfoODHtrKGYDy1yUKY3o-kiS7N19nMnwBRJteGDfK5cOhnMQr9Q78iSYgUhzjKC4mrVgp-p1NF8uJJZl9hCPOE/s1600/IMG_0765.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWnSOfLaTOBqScEMZ6XJvkc4GqTtDz2NowJruTIgJmgtvhSi0IYXnEoKfoODHtrKGYDy1yUKY3o-kiS7N19nMnwBRJteGDfK5cOhnMQr9Q78iSYgUhzjKC4mrVgp-p1NF8uJJZl9hCPOE/s640/IMG_0765.JPG" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We get back to our apartment at 4 in the afternoon for an
early dinner and time to rest. I’m loving our vacation so far. I think of the
bad moments—the crazy loud music on Sunday, the disappointment of missing our
excursion on Tuesday—and I think if anything those moments have actually helped
me enjoy our time here more. After Sunday, I expected to have loud noise every
day, and I’ve been happily surprised that it’s been quiet ever since. And after
missing our excursion on Tuesday, we got to enjoy a relaxing Plan B and
reschedule for Wednesday and it all worked out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think my favorite thing about this trip is how relaxed and
healthy I feel. I love being home—don’t get me wrong—but this winter has been
so hard, even down to the rashes I get on my hands when the air turns cold and
dry. My rashes cleared up probably the first day we were here. I love being so
casual, eating well, sleeping well, walking everywhere, feeling good.
Definitely not something I’m taking for granted, but I’m hoping I can take these
good feelings back home and not allow the cold and the stress there to get to
me!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Thursday, February 22<sup>nd</sup></span></b></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s our last day here, but we don’t need to check out until
noon or leave for the airport until 2:30, so we have plenty of time to enjoy
ourselves! I don’t set my alarm but I still wake up at 6. Maybe I’ve become a
morning person, because I actually love getting to bed early and waking up
refreshed, early enough to enjoy the quiet, cool hours of morning. It’s another
day of Bible study and chai on the terrace, a walk on the beach, a delicious
breakfast as Ben tries to use up the rest of the groceries we bought, and then
more reading on the beach and splashing in the waves.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 11 a.m. we come back to our apartment to make ourselves
an early lunch and pack everything up. By noon we’re ready, and while we’re
waiting for Gricel to arrive, I ask if he doesn’t mind if I go back to the
beach again. I feel drawn there like a magnet—there is no place on earth so relaxing
to me, so casual and beautiful and natural, where you don’t feel like you need
to do anything, just being there is enough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I read and rest on the beach for awhile longer, and come back
to find that Ben has checked us out of our apartment and is up on the third floor
community area, with tables and couches, open to the sea breezes, and a safe
place to keep our luggage while we do a bit more exploring. We go out for
gelato and coffee, I walk to the beach again, feeling sad to leave it but also
happy that I’ll be on a different beach this August.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At 2:30, Gricel says that our driver is here. We say goodbye
to her and I’m so grateful for how she’s helped us during our stay. We arrive
at the airport at 3:00, and though I expect we will have plenty of extra time
until our flight leaves at 5:10, I don’t think we ever do sit down, moving from
one line until the other until we get on our flight.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Goodbye, Punta Cana. I’ve had a wonderful time with you and
am returning home so much more rested, centered, ready to reconnect with our
kids and home life and community. I hope in five years we can do another
getaway, and we’ll probably pick a different location where we are once again
amateurs and will make mistakes and have adventures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This trip I’ve been more aware of our privilege in even
being able to come here in the first place. It’s certainly not something we can
afford every year. I’m grateful for the part-time teaching I can do to give us a
budget for vacations. I’m grateful to Ben’s mom for essentially telling us, “We’re
watching the kids for a week in February, go somewhere!” I’m grateful that our
kids have had a wonderful vacation with Ben’s side of the family while we’ve been
here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know not everyone reading this blog has the same
privileges and opportunities, and I don’t have them every year either. I guess
I would encourage everyone, though, insofar as you can, prioritize your health.
Your physical health, emotional health, spiritual health. Find away to get away
somewhere if you need to, to eat well and walk and sleep well and relax and do
whatever helps you unwind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUK5vmmCHcgqWJSWqMuIGBOzbG32oKOZcNwkmfFCYwzOjGThkZiqqE5ZUkaQT5LZ-fW1fEyrskDCpCIHqT0a20DvqjI7ng106IDQHt1frcaQn43zkEOMywGRGk_ySx-4T-NuYYqxkYu20/s1600/0222181235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUK5vmmCHcgqWJSWqMuIGBOzbG32oKOZcNwkmfFCYwzOjGThkZiqqE5ZUkaQT5LZ-fW1fEyrskDCpCIHqT0a20DvqjI7ng106IDQHt1frcaQn43zkEOMywGRGk_ySx-4T-NuYYqxkYu20/s640/0222181235.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Prioritize your marriage. I’m so thankful for Ben and how
our marriage has grown and adapted over the years. We’ve both changed, our children
and home and work and church and life situation ha changed. Our marriage looks
different now than it did, but it’s a good different. One of our achievements
actually was deliberately choosing not to bring a marriage book or
questionnaire or anything like that along on our trip. I know for some couples,
reading a good marriage book and talking through it together may be just what
you need. For us, beginning back when we were dating, we can be so serious and
intentional that it gets exhausting. This trip we left the marriage books
behind and just enjoyed each other’s company. I’m grateful to have the kind of
marriage where we can do that, where we’ve accepted each other’s imperfections
and have chosen to stick it out with each other.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now … I’m so glad to be back home, back with my kids, back
in my busy life. I’m not that excited about cold rain and gray skies, but … spring
is coming! And joy awaits.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-14821398601256038562018-02-23T16:38:00.000-08:002018-02-24T18:29:51.706-08:00Reflections on Gift from the Sea<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRcYWKPejS6jj4UwDkQmK6aXfwT2ImPDg6jjNJ1KtQP5Cxb-fhJ419HIOLJdxME4KD9JKiA-oMenl6kveEWyzStMupOD0TP-J8StPLiL68sLHupMWDNpUlEjmX3W_zYEZRQDHyehkHyY/s1600/0222180630c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRcYWKPejS6jj4UwDkQmK6aXfwT2ImPDg6jjNJ1KtQP5Cxb-fhJ419HIOLJdxME4KD9JKiA-oMenl6kveEWyzStMupOD0TP-J8StPLiL68sLHupMWDNpUlEjmX3W_zYEZRQDHyehkHyY/s640/0222180630c.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This book, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gift from
the Sea</i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">,</span> by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, borrowed from a very patient friend, has
waited on the shelf beneath my desk for probably well over a year, waiting,
though I didn’t know it, for this vacation, this perfect time to uncover its
pages. The author writes in the setting of a beach vacation she has taken away
from her family, and I sit and read it on a beach in the Dominican Republic
away from my own children, and the words wash up over my soul and help that
tight weariness in the very center of me to unwind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged
from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, the one cannot touch
others…. Only when one is connected to one’s own core is one connected to
others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring,
can best be refound through solitude” (Lindbergh 38).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love how she captures this relationship between solitude
and community. I find myself longing for both and at times they can seem
mutually exclusive. Which do I want, after all, to be known or to be alone? But
the answer is that I deeply want and need both and that they feed each other.
In the busy rhythm of my life, continually in connection with my husband, my
three children, my thirty students and their parents, my friends, my extended
family—in the middle of this community which I love, which I love being needed
by and being able to pour out into—in the middle of this, I also crave hours of
being completely disconnected and alone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I need those hours of solitude to replenish, so that I
have something to give to all those people I find myself in connection with. I
need to intentionally break connection from time to time, whether it is for a
few days now in the Dominican Republic, or a few minutes in the quiet of an
early morning at home—I need to break connection so that my soul can refill and
I can reconnect with a self that is not a dry river bed but a fountain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is true for every human being, but particularly for us
who know God we find it resonates deeply with the Spirit within us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jesus said to her, <span class="woc">‘Everyone who drinks of
this water will be thirsty again,</span> <span class="woc">but whoever drinks of
the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I
will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life’”
(John 4:13-14). It is in solitude that we reconnect the Living Water, the
spring of water welling up inside us, the indwelling Spirit. And it is then in
community that we reconnect with others who have this same Spirit inside
themselves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For to be a woman is to have interests and duties, raying
out in all directions from the central mother-core, like spokes from the hub of
a wheel. The pattern of our lives is essentially circular. We must be open to
all points of the compass; husband, children, friends, home, community;
stretched out, exposed, sensitive like a spider’s web to each breeze that
blows, to each call that comes…. The problem is … more basically: how to remain
whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no
matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain
strong, no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the
hub of the wheel” (Lindberg 22-23).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This winter I have not remained whole and balanced.
Stretched at the center with Ben working so much overtime, the children having
such constant needs, my work busy as it always is in January and February with
so many students writing more complicated papers and needing help and grades
and how do a structure an introduction paragraph and how do I cite a website,
while menu plans need to be made, the fridge needs to be cleaned, what’s for
dinner, Mommy I need to go potty, Mommy she’s hitting me again, and in the
middle of it all I feel the tension between—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this
is the life I love</i>—and—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if this doesn’t
stop, I am going to go insane.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I absolutely deeply and dearly love my people, I love that I
can use my gifts to serve them, I know this is a season of life I will look
back on and miss, but in the middle, in the moment, I can feel driven to
distraction.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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“I want first of all… to be at peace with myself. I want a
singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will
enable me to carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can. I
want, in fact—to borrow from the language of the saints—to live ‘in grace’ as
much of the time as possible…. I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for…
when he said, ‘May the outward and inward man be at one’” (Lindbergh 17).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to feel simplicity and peace today when I have
absolutely nothing to do, no one to see but my husband, today when sea breezes
rustle the leaves of coconut palms far overhead but my question is how to carry
this back home. How can I live in the middle of my normal life, at peace, in
grace, with unity between my inner heart and outer experience?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I can carve out time alone, without feeling guilty or
obligated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can simplify and remove from my life unnecessary
distractions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can continue to help my children learn to be responsible
and independent and respect my boundaries and the boundaries of others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can freely say “no” to all the things I shouldn’t do so
that I can preserve my “yes” to the people I’m called to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can pay attention to the warning lights in my life—those
lights on the dashboard, the anxiety, the raised voice, the inner tension—that
if ignored turn into panic, insomnia, depression, conflicts—I can pay attention
and stop, slow down, stop expecting myself to be God (and allowing other people
to expect of me that I can be God, omnipotent, omnipresent, meeting all their
needs). I can without shame acknowledge my humanness and my need to rest, to
regroup, to heal before reentering the fray.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSF58Et75WfYDo5dDiMzzOzG0v6OFQXIOYGGBhF9em15yDdCjl-DDjTrd_Zr9GeqHT9O6DsZsCBFyWaU0jySO6xOtVP9KabodP_FxnB6IshdYeNpv-NPBoRrSTHDL0QUiyvDRL82W08X8/s1600/0220181345a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSF58Et75WfYDo5dDiMzzOzG0v6OFQXIOYGGBhF9em15yDdCjl-DDjTrd_Zr9GeqHT9O6DsZsCBFyWaU0jySO6xOtVP9KabodP_FxnB6IshdYeNpv-NPBoRrSTHDL0QUiyvDRL82W08X8/s640/0220181345a.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jesus, thank You that
You never felt ashamed or afraid to rest, that after six days of employing Your
creative power to make such vastness and such beauty, You rested to show us
that we could rest, too. Thank You that when You walked our earth and faced
endless needs and demands, You carved Your own path following the Father. Help
me to follow Your example. Amen.</i></div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-54177273750107893462018-01-29T12:46:00.000-08:002018-01-29T18:09:36.838-08:00The Art of Waiting for Spring<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHQtrtlqmwnU1GEL6lVtDD_ASBUbe8WOKfP_h1Z1ZqM9BQO3WGqqXh2_DsMuYWsEwqFmSf1qgXFolEDKtAs1IhPuOTRMx_rTObGLZ9OPy-VrEbChwiZ7WQEyb3Jm0Ge2ZpYhfoBaVAFU/s1600/0129181540.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEHQtrtlqmwnU1GEL6lVtDD_ASBUbe8WOKfP_h1Z1ZqM9BQO3WGqqXh2_DsMuYWsEwqFmSf1qgXFolEDKtAs1IhPuOTRMx_rTObGLZ9OPy-VrEbChwiZ7WQEyb3Jm0Ge2ZpYhfoBaVAFU/s640/0129181540.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Out the window, bare branches stretch up toward a cold gray
sky. A few birds dart past; then all is silent and still.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inside I am enjoying a rare moment of quiet in the early
afternoon. This month of January has been hard for me—chewed me up and spit me
out. If I were going to capture the month in a photo, it would be this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvMTJA6g-qfFfa_v2hzedSHwlQHjDiQ6RJT1lI0tb8LL2kLCaJOkfhyphenhyphenpmP6QAttGJ_eyZpBTT9IGHx6q0VYYAvizePlAT9iNpzErB82hXTzPlQ6taHQJVJWrBoNg5P06nRzSX6xuopL-s/s1600/0128180701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvMTJA6g-qfFfa_v2hzedSHwlQHjDiQ6RJT1lI0tb8LL2kLCaJOkfhyphenhyphenpmP6QAttGJ_eyZpBTT9IGHx6q0VYYAvizePlAT9iNpzErB82hXTzPlQ6taHQJVJWrBoNg5P06nRzSX6xuopL-s/s640/0128180701.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mundane moments, all piling on top of each other. I’m
realizing that I’m better at handling bigger crises than I am at walking through
small problems.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When a bigger crisis hits my life, I more readily see my
need to run to the Lord and get His help. I am more easily open and vulnerable
with others about what’s going on, and I am strengthened by community support.
I am kinder to myself, giving myself space to grieve or heal or process. I am
more accepting that life as I know it is derailed, but if I keep putting one
foot in front of the other, I’ll get to the other side.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All those lessons seem to desert me when I face smaller
problems—the mundane, the inconvenient, the annoying, the difficult. I don’t
think I need God’s help because it’s so small, I can handle it on my own. I
feel bad to talk about it with others because I will sound like I’m complaining
and it’s not worth it. I am hard on myself, raising my expectations and then
feeling ashamed when I don’t meet them. I struggle when life doesn’t go
according to plan, and then wonder why such comparatively small suffering is
getting under my skin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This month there has been a lot of what you might call small
suffering. Very small. Two examples would be my husband Ben needing to work a
lot of overtime and my health being challenging. Neither of these examples, or
the other things bothering me, seem tragedies even worth writing about or
talking about with other people. (That’s the lie I believe at least, so that I
circle the drain in silence.) The very smallness of the problems can deceive me
until I’m feeling wearier or more depressed than I realized.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then my old enemy shame, which I always think I’ve
conquered until it comes in for another round, seeps in unsuspected. Christine
Caine, in her book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Unashamed </i>(which I
am loving), writes, “Most people don’t even think about what they are thinking
about.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that’s true for me. It’s not until I feel myself
dissolving, my emotions like warnings on a dashboard all blinking
simultaneously, that I tell myself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Okay,
hold up, what is wrong?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I start thinking about what I’ve been thinking about,
thoughts that have filtered through my mind completely unchecked, that I’m fat
and ugly, that I’m a bad wife/mom/teacher/friend, that everyone thinks I’m
stupid and wrong ….</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I think, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Whoa, how
did I get here?</i> There’s no factual basis for any of these, which is how I
distinguish shame from conviction—conviction focuses on something particular I’ve
done wrong that I can confess and make right, while shame tells me that I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am wrong</i> and bombards me with a vague
but heavy condemnation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christine Caine in her book compares thoughts to trains—that
we have a choice which ones we board and allow to carry us away—and completely
unconsciously I let myself board the wrong train and get to an unhealthy place.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve felt powerless. The small sufferings in my life are mostly
out of my control, and when I think through them, I realize the main action
point for me is to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wait</i>. Ben’s
working overtime, for instance—not something I can control, and soon the project
will end. Or my chronic Lyme flareup—not something that I can control, but soon
I’ll be done with this round of antibiotics and I anticipate I’ll start feeling
better. Or just the fact that it is the middle of winter, cold and gray with
windows and doors buttoned up against the outside.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the hard meantime, the only action point is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wait</i>. These things cannot be changed;
all they need is time. Which drives me nuts because I want the microwave
version of life—a few quick and easy steps that will bypass the waiting and fix
the problem so that I can feel better immediately.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I forget that God is outside time, that He sees all
the moments of my life simultaneously, and that He ordains my journey through
time. I can look back at challenges I’ve faced, and if I could send a message
back to myself, it would say something like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You can’t rush the
process. This is hard, but you’re making it harder by worrying and complaining,
essentially throwing yourself against it instead of accepting and cooperating.
God’s got this, and He is going to bring you out the other side, and you’re
going to come out different or better. I know the now is hard, but hang in
there—it will get better</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t send that message back in time to the me of
yesterday, but maybe I can send it to the me of today, right now, when I’m so
zoomed in that problems seem blurry and out of focus, and I need to zoom back
out and take the long view.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And accept, stop fighting, and settle myself in for the
wait.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was driving to Costco this morning with Brennan in the
back seat, and after that to a research paper class I teach, and I thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I have felt powerless because so much of
life right now is outside my control and all I can do is wait. But I can choose
how I live while I wait.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6e7rHA_xRSigp4AtP_Nprf3xk5zE4oAuZoncwVBu8Rt6JUT3Fd0Sbk-4XoAWspMtZ0HQiMMt3hrnxM5p2t1I3VjdvNCELiDHlcHniW9syhawKGt0Yw5TUiO5HMt3HKD-qyXv56DA-yLo/s1600/0129181214.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="901" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6e7rHA_xRSigp4AtP_Nprf3xk5zE4oAuZoncwVBu8Rt6JUT3Fd0Sbk-4XoAWspMtZ0HQiMMt3hrnxM5p2t1I3VjdvNCELiDHlcHniW9syhawKGt0Yw5TUiO5HMt3HKD-qyXv56DA-yLo/s640/0129181214.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can choose what food I’m going to buy at Costco and what
way I’m going to teach my class. And more than that, I can choose what attitude
I have, my outlook and perspective. What kind of person am I going to be in
this culture right now? How am I going to live in this world? I can choose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a lot in life I can’t control, but there’s a lot I
sure can.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can feel like a victim of circumstance, scouring the
fridge for dinner for the kids and wondering how to parent them until bedtime,
when I’m so tired and they’re so not. But strangely, as soon as I accept the
things I have no control over—Ben’s work schedule, for instance, or how I’m
physically feeling at the moment—then I can separate out the things I do have
control over—what we’re going to eat and do that evening and what kind of mom I’m
going to be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Essentially, I just want to tell myself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Grow up</i>. And that’s still too harsh. How
about this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes, you’re having a hard
month, but that’s because God is growing you up. It will soon be over. Take the
long view, trust Him, and learn the art of waiting for spring.</i></div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-60919080520939155622018-01-22T11:55:00.001-08:002018-01-22T11:56:01.980-08:00Soul Care for the Busy WomanThere was never enough time for me to get from martial arts on one
side of town to dance on the other. Uniforms and bags, children
bickering, static on the radio, a one-year-old strapped into the car
seat none too happy to be along for the ride.<br />
<br />
I was already tired
from classroom teaching that afternoon, and regretted filling my
Thursdays so full. We were in the middle of a difficult foster care
case, and any emotional reserves I may have had were now depleted.<br />
<br />
I pulled into a parking space at martial arts and waited for my son. Negative thoughts flitted unchecked across my mind. <em>I
am so going to be late to pick up my daughter. Again. How do the other
dance moms do it? I am always a disappointment. There is never enough of
me to go around.</em><br />
<br />
I pulled out my smart phone to distract myself with Facebook while I waited ....<br />
<br />
Read the rest <a href="https://kindredgrace.com/nourish-your-soul/">here</a> on Kindred Grace. Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-44375617627235028442018-01-01T14:11:00.003-08:002018-01-01T15:43:28.270-08:00When You're Too Tired for New Year's Resolutions<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1X0Te3FI275teUou0hjEb9tz5srDnSYNKUSDIKWgL_fr7hy_q4l6w57bepS6zWlXY4hLl-mFbSIVCPmXXkRocTmhDc8SjTqmA2qupYhtfF_gvu_BJdBWqNJfG_qU-p-PuttUFaSRqa6Q/s1600/1230171016a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1X0Te3FI275teUou0hjEb9tz5srDnSYNKUSDIKWgL_fr7hy_q4l6w57bepS6zWlXY4hLl-mFbSIVCPmXXkRocTmhDc8SjTqmA2qupYhtfF_gvu_BJdBWqNJfG_qU-p-PuttUFaSRqa6Q/s640/1230171016a.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The new year begins cold, barren, tired. I see blog posts
about lessons learned in 2017 and goals for 2018 and a new word for the new
year … and I feel nothing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started 2017 with specific plans. My word for the year was
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rest</i> and I look back and think, “Note
to self: don’t plan a year of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rest </i>when
you begin that year with an eighteen-month-old.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But to be honest, though 2017 was far from restful, simply
thinking the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rest </i>and becoming
more intentional about saying <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">no </i>helped
me to slow down and have a more manageable schedule. 2017 was the first year in
awhile when we took no foster care cases and when I realized that I didn’t have
to live life always maxed out to the fullest with no margin, only one small
crisis away from a panic attack. 2017 was busy, but it was less anxious.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began 2017 with specific plans for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">detox</i>. Physically, after struggling with chronic Lyme pain through
2016, I planned to flush toxins out of my body, establish new habits, and
become healthier than ever. I wasn’t planning on hearing the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cancer</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With my home, I planned to declutter and organize and make
this space a better place for everyone who lives here. We got rid of a lot of
stuff this year and redid the kids’ bedrooms. But I didn’t plan on ending the
year still feeling a lot of clutter and wanting to organize the house
differently so it works better for us.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spiritually and emotionally, I planned to detox. Through
counseling and friendships and books and Bible study, I wanted to work through
some of the yuck inside me and outside me and become a strong, stable person,
whole and healthy in every sense of the word. I didn’t plan on ending the year questioning
myself and fighting shame feelings all over again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I come to 2018 tired—not sure if the tired comes from
recovering from surgery and cancer and all the physical and emotional stress
that brought—not sure if the tired comes from the continual needs and noise of
our kids—not sure if the tired comes from a place deep inside me that either
needs to rest more or needs to suck it up and push through.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I started the year with my expectations too
high—expecting without ever verbalizing it that after decluttering and dieting
and counseling and whatever, my home and body and spirit would be entirely
renewed and I would start 2018 flying high.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead I’m starting the new year making a cup of tea,
snuggling my kids for storytime, taking my thyroid medication again after forgetting
it on a weekend trip, trying to sleep well at night, somewhat dreading getting back
to homeschooling tomorrow.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 Corinthians 3:18 talks about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“being transformed into the same image [the glory of the Lord] from one
degree of glory to another.”</i> And I think about that—from one degree to
another, how healing and sanctification and growth and glory comes in degrees, in
slight graduations, in slow stages, in sometimes faltering steps.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s tempting to think of 2017 as a wash because I didn’t
achieve my lofty plans, but on the other hand, looking back, I can see how I am
physically, emotionally, and spiritually stronger than I was a year ago.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did learn some things this year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned to prioritize
vacations in our schedule and budget.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me, vacations are more important than owning nice things.
Vacations are building memories and cultivating rest with people I love. They
give us something to look forward to in the middle of the mundane. They are bright
spots in the year, and though sometimes before we leave I wonder if it’s worth
the stress of packing and traveling, I never look back wishing we hadn’t gone—I’m
always grateful for those moments. I think my favorite vacation of the year was
to the Outer Banks because I just love the beach—but I also loved Lancaster (twice),
Michigan, Maryland, Williamsburg, and the solar eclipse in South Carolina. Here’s
to another year of doing simple and fun vacations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned I can do a
road trip without Ben.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This summer I drove my older two children on a nine-hour drive
to Michigan and back to see my grandpa who is almost 100. Not only was it a
really special time with him and his wife, but it was a personal achievement
for me to realize that I could by myself plan and execute a trip like that for
my kids, navigating the unknown roads and planning fun things to do while we’re
there. A smart phone definitely helps with all this. I’ll admit I cried with
relief when I got home because I was so tired from the drive, but I’m glad I
did it and it gives me courage to try more things like that. Don’t get me wrong—I
love doing things with my husband—but sometimes I need the reminder that when
he is busy, I really can do big things by myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned that
private school is not for us right now.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a little while this year we considered enrolling all our
children in private school while I taught there. God was really kind to clearly
shut this door for us so ultimately we didn’t need to make the hard decision. I’ve
always thought private school would be a great place for the kids and me, but
it’s clear at least for this season that home is a better place for us. I’m
glad we got to look into what is a really good school and we may be back someday,
but for now we’re home, for a lot of different reasons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned that
bedbugs are nasty.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We found them in the boys’ bed in October. Our exterminator
was confident he could get rid of them ASAP, but we’re now realizing that was
more of a sales pitch than the actual truth. After a lot of money spent on three
whole-house exterminations, we’re in the uncertain stage of hoping they are
gone and not sure yet. I cannot wait for this nightmare to be over.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned that
thyroid cancer is the best kind of cancer to have</b>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even though there were a couple scary weeks of recovering
from surgery, getting the pathology report back, worrying that it had spread, getting
way too accustomed to hospital bracelets, and working through irrational fears
like I would never be able to sing again or sleep through the night again—ultimately
all’s well that ends well, and I am ending the year with a new prescription and
a little scar on my neck. To be honest I hardly feel worthy of the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">cancer</i> to describe my struggle since so
many people have had it so far, far worse.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>I learned that God
and people really are most important.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything else can come and go and change overnight—I want
to build my life prioritizing my relationship with God and my relationships
with the people in my life. I want to be rich in strong relationships. I want
to be the kind of friend who can speak life through a text, who can encourage
over coffee, who can laugh over a book. I want to be the kind of teacher who
inspires and asks good questions and calls out excellence. I want to be the
kind of mom who communicates unconditional love no matter what. I want to be
the kind of wife who connects deeply with my husband in all the different ways.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2017, you are just looking like a waste now as I look back
on you because I’m tired, because my body is still a bit haywire from
everything it’s gone through in the last several weeks, because it’s so cold outside
and the kids are bouncing off the walls. You really weren’t a waste at all. You
were so, so good for me. 2018, I have no goals or words for you, and I wish I
did, but I know God does, and I’m looking forward to seeing what they are.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-2498220074518530982017-12-12T09:29:00.004-08:002017-12-12T18:50:39.282-08:00Christmas and Cancer<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day before Thanksgiving, I was not in my kitchen making
pumpkin pies. I was in the hospital being wheeled back to the operating room to
have half my thyroid removed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cancer is a scary word under any circumstances, but thyroid
cancer is probably the best kind to have. I was hopeful I’d be back to normal
within a couple days (yes, I’m a little delusional). As the road to recovery
has been longer than anticipated, and there is still the concern that the
cancer may have spread, I’ve revised my expectations now and am hoping to be
back to normal within a couple <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">months</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now I’m waiting anxiously on the results of a biopsy.
But no matter how the test comes back, let’s just say my Christmas season is
turning out—a bit <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">different </i>this
year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I kind of like that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Because I’ve been surprised to discover this: while cancer
is (obviously) not so great for my health, it’s been great for my Christmas.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me explain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWoKglTjNu89Z7d5p4IL-DKUQZ37cvoxFIdLU9toOj29A_5yzRvMSAS3_uwSKokaRFGqevpWMOeoJUJryHcsDghK2ET4aClDXVHZcseX3sG_WTSwtAmZsRQOmfBL1RMqYZr3k-x2ydXM/s1600/1201172127.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWoKglTjNu89Z7d5p4IL-DKUQZ37cvoxFIdLU9toOj29A_5yzRvMSAS3_uwSKokaRFGqevpWMOeoJUJryHcsDghK2ET4aClDXVHZcseX3sG_WTSwtAmZsRQOmfBL1RMqYZr3k-x2ydXM/s640/1201172127.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Burn the List</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m at the hospital for another appointment, and the nurse
is polite and chatty. She wraps a bracelet around my wrist—“I bet you’re
getting used to this!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Unfortunately, yes—I never thought I would be!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then: “So are you ready for the holidays?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s the standard question of December small talk, and
I’ve heard it from receptionists, nurses, doctors. It’s hard for me to know how
to answer. When I’m in a bad mood, I feel like snapping, “No, I’m obviously not
ready for the holidays. I’m too busy with appointments like this one!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a better mood, I recognize they are just being friendly,
and to the nurse on this occasion, I answer, “I’m taking a different approach
to the holidays this year because of my health.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve noticed that a lot of people, and probably women
especially, approach the holidays like a to-do list, like something to get
ready for. First there is the list of projects to complete and events to
attend. Then there is the list of gifts to purchase. And the list of
ingredients to buy for any food you’re making.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wow, we thought we were busy already—now Christmas is just
making everything more stressful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year I get to play the cancer card, which is giving me
the freedom to burn the list. And I’m realizing how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">okay </i>everything still is. I don’t need to roll out homemade
cookies. I don’t need to do any Christmas crafts. I don’t need to attend lots
of Christmas parties. I don’t need to buy our kids a lot of toys they don’t
need.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And the thing is—you don’t either. We each really do have
the freedom to burn the list and to say no.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, if you enjoy something, if your family loves it, if it
feeds soul and brings you joy, by all means, go ahead and do it and have fun!
Wear that ugly sweater to the Christmas party. Make a big mess frosting cookies
with your kids. Do whatever you love.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But if you don’t love it, don’t feel obligated. Christmas is
not a marathon—“Are you ready? I’m not either. Sigh. So tired.” Christmas is a
celebration. Burn the list.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The world will keep turning whether or not you bake your own
pies, contribute cookies to that event, make your own ornaments, show up to
that party. You might actually find that you are enjoying Christmas a lot more
by doing less.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfan6RxVnxTwcM8tWVua9symaAem7O2C8iVdWAMaHc42DiVhBY_HLRxxbFOr9CcwqE7Z7_2ctjE88NP_CkH6XA2GiExZXuEi-T3WrC5YN04h5KFhOnbjntQ1OJwz80oXlP_MHBuspfNKk/s1600/kids3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfan6RxVnxTwcM8tWVua9symaAem7O2C8iVdWAMaHc42DiVhBY_HLRxxbFOr9CcwqE7Z7_2ctjE88NP_CkH6XA2GiExZXuEi-T3WrC5YN04h5KFhOnbjntQ1OJwz80oXlP_MHBuspfNKk/s640/kids3.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Parent Faithfully</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When it comes to parenting, I’ve found that Christmas can be
like a dangerous science experiment. You combine the wrong ingredients, and the
whole thing explodes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ingredients: Young child who is going over some behavioral
and developmental bumps. Less routine than normal. More sugar than normal.
Later bedtimes. Higher expectations. More excitement. Presents.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We expect our children at Christmastime to be the sweet
little cherubs we imagine took the good tidings to the shepherds. Or at least
to be like children in a Christmas commercial, in perfectly coordinating
outfits, smiling out the window while snowflakes drift to the ground.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead we’re like—“Don’t tip over the tree!” And our kids
are like—“He has three presents under the tree and I only have two! Why don’t
we have Christmas lights outside like our neighbors? Our house is boring!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Burning the list and setting our expectations lower gives us
the freedom to parent our children faithfully through this season. Is everyone
going to behave perfectly on Christmas Eve? Probably not, so just prepare for
that now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Celebrating Christmas with young children is just messy. We
can fight that and resent that, or we can embrace it and find opportunities to
snuggle with them, talk with them, take life slowly together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is what I’m learning this Christmas season that I’m not
feeling well—my kids don’t need a mommy who can do all the things and go all
the places. They need a mommy who speaks truth to them and loves them
unconditionally. They are really okay with the fact that I didn’t go with them
to the Christmas tree farm. They can snuggle in my lap and tell me all about it
when they get back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAjrlbjGwUXwJihl3JG4tJQ86p2x3jqw90UH4gd0-uGl_x59mqnsp4IEzH_IAiLZwaxd5VI4wxL3Ede3dZbGU0c7qfpcKXO7KHnD5RpdDG9fjwf4HCzTSi8YnTkVbLQ-9P8EDdppYBD_c/s1600/1210171846a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAjrlbjGwUXwJihl3JG4tJQ86p2x3jqw90UH4gd0-uGl_x59mqnsp4IEzH_IAiLZwaxd5VI4wxL3Ede3dZbGU0c7qfpcKXO7KHnD5RpdDG9fjwf4HCzTSi8YnTkVbLQ-9P8EDdppYBD_c/s640/1210171846a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Praise Jesus</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m sorry that subtitle is so cliché, but really, what else
is there to say? This Christmas season, at the same time as I’m shedding
projects and expectations like a caterpillar sheds its old skin, I am reaching
desperately for Jesus.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When our pastor talks about how the focus of this advent
week is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">peace</i>, I am leaning forward
grabbing onto every word because oh, how I need peace right now with these
medical unknowns.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When a song like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxPvMJB--R4">“He Who Is Mighty”</a> (Sovereign Grace Music) or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRgSk_-U3Oc">“God With Us”</a> (All Sons & Daughters)
comes on the radio, I am turning it up and trying not to cry through the chorus
because oh, how I need that truth flowing through me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’ve come <br />
To bring peace <br />
To be love <br />
To be nearer to us …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’ve come <br />
To take sin <br />
To bear shame <br />
And to conquer the grave…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh Emmanuel <br />
God with us.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Let It Snow”? Not so much! There is nothing wrong with
secular Christmas music, hear me on this, but when you are suffering, you don’t
need reindeer and chestnuts. You need Jesus. You need Christmas songs that go
straight from the manger to our deliverance from sin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He came to earth. What does that mean in your life? Make a
list—this is the kind of Christmas list that sets us free! What does Jesus’s
coming mean to you? How does it change your life?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me it means this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His presence surrounds me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am set free from anxiety, delivered from shame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am deeply loved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year I am studying the Book of Romans with <a href="https://www.bsfinternational.org/">Bible Study Fellowship</a>. (By the way, if you are looking for an in-depth non-denominational Bible
study, look them up. I love the accountability of a few minutes of homework a
day, and let me tell you, I am getting to know the Book of Romans. I had a
dream about the Book of Romans. I love the Book of Romans.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, we are in chapter 8 this week, and I’m like, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">All these promises are true only because
Jesus came!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why did He come? “…By sending His own Son in the likeness of
sinful flesh and for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the
righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us….”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because Jesus came, I am not condemned! I stand before Him
righteous! I have died to everything I used to be enslaved to! You won’t find
that on a Hallmark card, but wow, is that powerful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s what I need when I have cancer. That’s what I need
every Christmas. That’s what you need. Burn the list. Shed the stress. Love
your children. Lean in to Jesus.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-2782215314844117842017-12-08T14:57:00.002-08:002017-12-11T12:24:05.756-08:00My Cancer Diagnosis, Part 2<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
(The first part of the story is <a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2017/11/my-cancer-diagnosis.html">here</a>.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me, actually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">having</i>
surgery turned out to be not nearly so scary as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">recovering</i> from surgery. The day the left lobe of my thyroid was
removed, I was running on adrenaline.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my struggle with anxiety, I’ve learned that if I try to
run from anxiety, deny it or squash it, it gets bigger and worse. But if I run
toward it with a kind of tough-girl act, “Bring it on! Is that the best you can
do?” I can climb over the panic and feel better.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The day of my surgery was all about tough-girl “I am gonna <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">do</i> this thing!” I couldn’t eat or drink
after midnight, and I had this vivid dream I was shopping at Costco and
enjoying all the samples. I jolted awake—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh,
no! I can’t have my surgery after all! Why did I go to Costco?</i>—and it took
me a few minutes to realize I hadn’t actually left my bed or eaten anything and
I was okay.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got to the hospital around 7 in the morning, returning
library books on the way because that is what we do in our family. I’d brought along
to read the second in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miss Buncle </i>series,
a charming book about an author renovating a home in the English countryside,
and sitting in the waiting room, I read that book as if my life depended on it.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYlCGlhWcbkfcIuTlXYPsRimWEShdGJyYpTqS4QH75ln6qvKlozHwhaIkJxFQ_igNvqlFJhmicIxVlcnMlCEP0PCUwiucZiBLj8MbKW2FWn17LS30cUiIJDTfZD9SzupEZBEXTeeS2GO0/s1600/1122170711.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYlCGlhWcbkfcIuTlXYPsRimWEShdGJyYpTqS4QH75ln6qvKlozHwhaIkJxFQ_igNvqlFJhmicIxVlcnMlCEP0PCUwiucZiBLj8MbKW2FWn17LS30cUiIJDTfZD9SzupEZBEXTeeS2GO0/s400/1122170711.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually we got called back and the first thing the nurse
asked was if I’d just had a baby. “Umm … no … do you begin all conversations
this way?” (And please tell me you’re not looking at my mommy tummy.) Once we’d
established that I was really not postpartum, we settled into a different room,
I changed into a gown, and read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miss
Buncle </i>again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben, who was there the whole time, working on his laptop,
asked if he could pray with me right before the nurse came back, and I said no.
I think I was afraid with his hand on my shoulder and his gentle voice I would
totally fall to pieces. So that was my unspiritual moment. I had this definite
sense of God wrapping His presence around me and giving me courage, but I could
not handle pausing for a moment and being fragile.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCjgkGiaTxheclNABymbfo6v_gy3moQVP_fD6gn0OAv3VcoUm3ex1nvybFIeFXsFCtxPxEMcfqNTRyt-6gYwHEb1Tq9LYS_nVvDjpFwdN_o0i5U6JFtQH5krsNqikeeJIYxEyj0SJrDFY/s1600/1122170836.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCjgkGiaTxheclNABymbfo6v_gy3moQVP_fD6gn0OAv3VcoUm3ex1nvybFIeFXsFCtxPxEMcfqNTRyt-6gYwHEb1Tq9LYS_nVvDjpFwdN_o0i5U6JFtQH5krsNqikeeJIYxEyj0SJrDFY/s400/1122170836.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got the IV and got a blood-thinning shot. I chatter when I’m
nervous, and I told the nurse I was so grateful the IV had gone in no problems,
because my friend who had a baby last week had been stuck four times trying to
get the IV in. The nurse said, “Oh, you just had a baby?” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No, I did not just have a baby! What in the world. Forget I said
anything.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then we talked to my surgeon. He exudes this kind of
paternal competence. I really like him and was glad Ben got to meet him. The
surgeon said I would probably need to stay overnight. I asked him if he was
teasing because before he said I could probably go home the same day. He said
he wasn’t, and I knew our kids really wanted me coming back that night, so that
became my new goal: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">change his mind and go
home today.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wheeling back to the operating room, the nurse asked about
my teaching and we chatted about middle school writing. Then there were bright
lights above me and that is the last thing I remember. I’ve since figured out
that whenever medical staff are afraid you are going to panic, they ask you
about your job to distract you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up in a big room filled with hospital beds. There was
a big clock in front of me that said 11:05. The room was tipping strangely and
fading in and out. I blinked and the clock said 11:20. A nurse asked me how my
pain was on a scale of 1 to 10. My throat was sore but not bad, so I said 3.
She gave me an ice chip. My body didn’t think it was at all strange that she
was spoon-feeding me an ice chip, because I hadn’t yet realized that I had arms
and hands that might have done of the job for her. I felt like I was going to
throw up, so she said no more ice chips and she was giving me anti-nausea
medication. The room kept tipping from side to side.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My rational self was definitely battling the craziness in my
body that hour. Never having had surgery before, I had expected to wake up in
my own private room with Ben smiling down at me, and that he would promptly
turn on the playlist on my phone that I’d selected to listen to while I
recovered. But here in the recovery room, there was no Ben in sight, and my
phone was gone to wherever my purse and bag had gotten to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of listening to my empowering music, I was listening
to the beeping of hospital machines. A man on my left, whom I couldn’t turn my
head to see, had had a “metatarsal amputation” and when asked about his pain on
a scale of 1 to 10, he calmly replied that he was at a 9. He eventually left,
and the patient who took his place had had lung surgery and kept coughing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My irrational self felt like a whiny child—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I want my husband! I want my music! Where is
my phone? When can I leave this terrible place? </i>The nurse caring for me
also had a few other patients and was busy and overwhelmed multi-tasking, kind
of like I am on a home school morning. She said something brusque to the effect
of, “Look, I have a few other patients to take care of, you’re probably going
to have to stay here for a couple hours, your husband isn’t allowed in here,
and I don’t know where your phone is.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The room kept tipping from side to side, and it was 11:45.
The thought of lying there for two hours, trying not to throw up and listening
to beeping and human suffering around me, made me want to panic. At the same
time, my rational self kicked into gear enough to tell me, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Get it together, the better you behave the sooner you can leave this
place.</i> So I was very nice to the busy nurse, and kept looking straight
ahead willing the room not to tip over, and I was wheeled out around 12:00 noon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I kept my eyes closed tight the entire trip to my room because
I felt so motion sick. I was hoping Ben would be in the room when I got there,
but he wasn’t. They did bring me my bag, rummage in it, and hand me my phone,
and I called him. He hadn’t heard yet that I’d been relocated and said he was
on his way. Holding my phone and waiting for him, my rational self was like, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Put that thing down. You are way too drugged
to be using a smart phone. Don’t you dare even think about texting or posting
to Instagram right now, okay?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben came and turned on my music for me and all was right
with the world. Gradually I felt well enough to drink a few sips of water, then
of apple juice. I tried to read <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Miss
Buncle </i>again but the nausea was too great, and I decided right then that I
really hated the book. I have not touched it since, even though I think I hardly
gave it a fair trial.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So instead, I spent the afternoon on Netflix on my phone,
watching one episode after another of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gilmore
Girls</i>. That’s just the kind of mindless fun I would recommend to anyone who
is trying to manage pain without Percocet. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gilmore
Girls </i>has fewer side effects.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNjlfbNi224kYdahr96Yk13MeFWdUruJC0k7hWQYw5fqwNRPKfCWr2SAIw0cerUfhsJvmxqXouxnAcX1AtSQL8Eh7YfIjYFNZjTkg9Vbiw_kau0-YWZj1OQtSRRf_eEUIkrgzd4lyO9xw/s1600/1122171517a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNjlfbNi224kYdahr96Yk13MeFWdUruJC0k7hWQYw5fqwNRPKfCWr2SAIw0cerUfhsJvmxqXouxnAcX1AtSQL8Eh7YfIjYFNZjTkg9Vbiw_kau0-YWZj1OQtSRRf_eEUIkrgzd4lyO9xw/s400/1122171517a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eventually I felt up to eating and ordered garlic herb
salmon, which ended up tasting like shoe leather. I was still running on
adrenaline and wanting to go home, so I changed into my normal clothes, kept watching
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gilmore Girls</i>, and by the time the surgeon
came around at 3:45 I was sitting up, feeling good, ready to go home, and was
discharged around 5.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My surgeon was a little surprised I hadn’t needed anything
for pain, and really the incision on my neck has never hurt very much. What surprised
me about my recovery from surgery, though, beginning the next day, was this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Surgery absolutely destroys your body. As in, you are not
yourself afterwards. I ran on adrenaline, I’m going to do this thing and get
home today, the whole day of my surgery, but the next day, which was Thanksgiving,
I crashed and felt like a blob. I couldn’t turn my head. My neck muscles were
killing me from holding the same tight position all day long. I was constipated
and exhausted. And I lost my voice and didn’t get it back for several days.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about a week before I could turn my head enough to drive,
before I could talk normally, and before I could be awake for a few hours without
feeling like napping. I wasn’t sleeping well, and I still felt like I’d lost
myself and was wandering through a cloud. I started thyroid medication and felt
a little more normal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFY9gMye3z8-dCeArOseSn04sspqKD8jExk2A1sJoydvC63QAeYcC4nZBOA6j9xvZdPpjQH2Sly3HnWKTMUQrCzMEQyfyYX438DxwZzesmG3mUSHQ3unfINQ0ziUZtLpol778SEx4j5po/s1600/1122171817.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFY9gMye3z8-dCeArOseSn04sspqKD8jExk2A1sJoydvC63QAeYcC4nZBOA6j9xvZdPpjQH2Sly3HnWKTMUQrCzMEQyfyYX438DxwZzesmG3mUSHQ3unfINQ0ziUZtLpol778SEx4j5po/s400/1122171817.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The pathology report came back that I did indeed have
thyroid cancer. My surgeon wanted me to get a biopsy of my lymph node that has
been swollen for several months, to see if the cancer has spread there. It turned
out that the day after I started feeling a little more normal, I went to get
the lymph node biopsy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had a thyroid biopsy done in August, so I approached the biopsy
with my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I can do this, no problem! </i>attitude—after
all, if I’ve survived getting my throat slit in surgery, what was a little needle?
Nothing, right? I even wore heels to the biopsy because ironically it makes me
feel stronger, even though practically I know all it means is that I walk a
little more precariously.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I learned that a lymph node biopsy is a hundred times worse
than a thyroid biopsy. Just in case you were wondering, there it is. I was
lying on the bed, waiting for the needle and trying not to panic, when the
doctor started questioning me about my work. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I know what you are up to! You are trying to distract me!</i> But I grabbed
that distraction like it was a lifeline and we chatted about middle school
writing like it was the most important thing in the world.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The big needle went in three times, deep into my neck so
much that the second time it pushed my entire throat to the side, and every
time it picked up cells to pull out, there was a big clicking sound. Finally it
was done and I went home. I’d had no symptoms after the thyroid biopsy. But
this time my lymph node was swollen and angry, and the entire left side of my
head was clouded and achy, like a terrible sinus headache that descended all
the way from the top of my skull to the front and back of my neck.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll be honest that the biopsy kind of felt like adding
insult to injury. Right now I feel like curling up in a ball and yelling, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Don’t touch my neck!</i> So the left side of
my head still feels terrible, my throat has this big ugly cut on the front, and
I’m still waiting to hear back on the biopsy results to know whether I’m done
with this drama or if I will need another surgery.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cue the bad attitude</i>.
It’s really hard for me, to be honest, to know how to answer when people ask me
how I’m doing. I don’t want to be one of those <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How are you? Fine? Fine!</i> kind of people. But at any given moment, I’m
probably doing fine. I’m hanging onto fine as hard as I can.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Starting thyroid medication and healing from surgery has felt
like an exceptionally bad case of PMS, so at one moment I might be totally fine
and ten minutes later weeping incoherently. I am both fine and not fine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m clinging hard to my Bible study in the book of Romans
and imbibing every verse like someone dying in a desert finally getting lifegiving
water. But I’m also wrestling hard with anxiety. I will dream about cancer
seeping through my neck and head, and needing another surgery, and where will
the kids go, and what if and what if …</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a few hours I might be feeling good and I’ll spend some quality
time with the kids and run a load of laundry and then my head will start aching
and I’ll crawl in bed and think that life is impossible, and it will be
impossible until thirty minutes later when I wake up feeling fine and I’ll get
some tea and grade some of my student papers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAtsTLxzO51hUJMiPLbAQBAtZIP2H5x-2ZHX79Tp1hQNHwVFv1trHEj6PShotFdfTK1QJTsgik8yw2eI-9nRJB8m7nJOcz2WqCeI2R5-xDXy7DVE82PLrKLK4E2KIu94oeax58vg3DWY/s1600/1120170943b_HDR.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIAtsTLxzO51hUJMiPLbAQBAtZIP2H5x-2ZHX79Tp1hQNHwVFv1trHEj6PShotFdfTK1QJTsgik8yw2eI-9nRJB8m7nJOcz2WqCeI2R5-xDXy7DVE82PLrKLK4E2KIu94oeax58vg3DWY/s400/1120170943b_HDR.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is my favorite time of year, and this year I’m not
worrying about Christmas shopping or activities or baking or getting any of it
done. I know <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thinking about the true
meaning of Christmas </i>is so cliché, but this Christmas my most powerful
impression is that Jesus came to be with me in my mess and save me from my
anxiety and heal my broken body.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So how am I doing? Totally fine and not fine and I really
don’t know. Taking it moment by moment and really looking forward to when <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this is all over</i>.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-25132871974985477842017-11-21T11:49:00.001-08:002017-11-21T11:51:58.213-08:00How to Nourish True Friendship with OthersI stare at her text.<br />
<br />
<i>“I felt like you were dismissive and controlling. . .”</i><br />
<br />
It’s
like the phone burns my hand. I put it down and gaze out the window,
willing myself not to cry, trying to gather my thoughts.<br />
<br />
In
following one friend’s advice, I inadvertently offended two others. And
quickly clouding my sense of how I should respond and what to do next,
shame swirls in.<br />
<br />
Read the rest <a href="https://kindredgrace.com/nourish-true-friendship/">here</a> on Kindred Grace.Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-86111095885976548212017-11-20T13:21:00.002-08:002017-11-20T15:43:10.777-08:00My Cancer Diagnosis<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2pdzGxf_iceyKVLVaFdSRtH8GnkGjX3ePw-pkYp9TeXzUIMUCcjeyiT_Tp6s-jMlAA88dvWyx69y2bcoVkdomG5gX3hvrmp4hmuVBPtwTgeV8zqhM2fqhOC4Ol2aNdZuIjmvlFvrOxik/s1600/family1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2pdzGxf_iceyKVLVaFdSRtH8GnkGjX3ePw-pkYp9TeXzUIMUCcjeyiT_Tp6s-jMlAA88dvWyx69y2bcoVkdomG5gX3hvrmp4hmuVBPtwTgeV8zqhM2fqhOC4Ol2aNdZuIjmvlFvrOxik/s640/family1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the summer, a summer of blue skies and outdoors and
family and travel, my Lyme symptoms had almost completely disappeared, except
for a mysteriously swollen lymph node that my Lyme specialist encouraged me to
get checked by the end of summer if it didn’t go away on its own.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the middle of August I had an ultrasound, and it was like
my anxiety about all things medical and all things uncertain, anxiety that had
been kept in check all summer long, bubbled to the surface. In the diagnostic
center, the hallway down to the ultrasound department is so long and I walked
with echoing sandals, trying to deep breathe, fighting the ridiculous urge to
cry—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">this is just an ultrasound.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The ultrasound technician was very nice and said it was probably
nothing, they see these things all the time, but the results came back that though
my lymph node was not to worry about, I had a concerning thyroid nodule and
should have a biopsy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was like I’d worked out my anxieties during the
ultrasound, because when I went in for a biopsy, I felt much better—even though
this was an actual hospital room, which always makes me think of childbirth,
and the doctor was putting needles into my throat. He was also very kind and
assured me that results come back benign in 90+% of the cases—I think he said
96%—and I assured myself that I had so many healthy habits that of course I was
going to be one of that 96% and this was going to be no problem, just routine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was our first week home schooling, and my first week back
to my part-time teaching job, when my doctor called in the middle of a
Wednesday morning. David was working on one subject and Elanor on another, and
Brennan was being his normal two-year-old active self, so I locked my bedroom
door and then went into the master bathroom and locked that door, too, so that
I could hear my doctor uninterrupted and the banging and yelling of the kids
was only background noise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your results came back suspicious for cancer,” she said.
“You should make an appointment with a thyroid surgeon.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I kept my cool for a couple minutes, long enough to write
some information down as she kept talking, and then I just started crying. I
like my doctor a lot, and she said she was so sorry she needed to tell me this
over the phone, and meanwhile the kids were banging and yelling and I thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I don’t even have time for a phone call, how
am I going to have time for cancer?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinMPPkTnY5fNAAIPGiaY3rz1f65QyusKXFauh6TWjtAszIFaeUnrdiGjTHqwQcqf_BgTIuQbD5H-Nt9iOgdfgGFvMXBNZ7r6fD9wtzOE_04C2OpZCh1mzRvUUuWS4Ka774Ae3C8TzrfuA/s1600/kids2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinMPPkTnY5fNAAIPGiaY3rz1f65QyusKXFauh6TWjtAszIFaeUnrdiGjTHqwQcqf_BgTIuQbD5H-Nt9iOgdfgGFvMXBNZ7r6fD9wtzOE_04C2OpZCh1mzRvUUuWS4Ka774Ae3C8TzrfuA/s640/kids2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got off the phone and we kept home schooling, like I was
in a daze and hearing the word “cancer” from a doctor was just too big to wrap
my mind around so I kept going on auto-pilot. I called the surgeon and
scheduled an appointment, and they gave me a date nine days away, so that at
least encouraged me that whatever was going on, it was at least not an
emergency and I had nine more days left for life as I knew it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Except the next day I got a fever of 102, which could have
been just a bug going around, but I’m inclined to think was also that I’d just
been punched in the gut by the news. I took ibuprofen and worked anyway, because
you do what you have to do, right? But that evening lying in bed aching,
hearing Ben in the kitchen doing all the parenting and housework, I wondered, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is this going to be my new normal? Lying
sick in bed while Ben tries to do it all?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had started the school year excited not only to home
school but also to get back to classroom teaching, and I wondered if all that
would have to be cancelled, what would happen, what I was going to do. My life
is full to overflowing anyway with three young kids and a part-time job, and
cancer didn’t fit, but it was like a big ugly word that threatened to crowd
everything else out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got over my fever. The news settled in my mind for a few
more days. Then I started reading the exact results of my biopsy and studying
articles from scientific journals I found online—yes, actually printing these
articles and taking out my pen and highlighter and taking notes like I was a
college student all over again. My extremely subjective rule for research
(other than that I like to read scientific articles, that’s the objective rule)
is that if it causes anxiety, I quit, and if it helps to calm me, I keep going.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This research calmed me. I liked reading about exact
centimeters and exact percentages. As I read, I figured out that though the
word cancer is always terrifying, thyroid cancer is the best kind to have. All
I would need was surgery, no chemo or radiation or even radioactive iodine that
is sometimes prescribed for larger thyroid cancers, and from my reading it
seemed like removal of one lobe would be enough, and I wouldn’t have to lose my
whole thyroid. It was a bit frustrating, too, that my cancer diagnosis wasn’t
100%—on a scale of 1 to 6, 6 being the most certainly cancer, I was a 5, but
there was no way aside from surgery to achieve that absolute certainty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not only was I calmed by the research, but I was encouraged
by the support of the few friends and family I told. I really felt my community
and the love of people coming around me. If I didn’t tell you, please don’t
feel bad. I told very few people because it was hard for me to talk about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Weirdly, I was freaked out about the ultrasound, better for
the biopsy, and at my best for the appointment with the surgeon. I brought my
highlighted annotated research and my list of questions to ask. I think the
surgeon was a bit amused by how prepared and matter-of-fact I was, but I was
encouraged that he did not think the cancer had spread to my lymph node and he
agreed with me that removal of just the left lobe of the thyroid would be
enough.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then, though this was early September, I asked him if it was
safe to wait to have surgery until the week of Thanksgiving. He looked at me
with a smile and said, “No one ever asks to wait.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes,” I said. “I think if I was just considering my
emotions, I would want it over the sooner the better, but I have three small
children and I teach, and Thanksgiving week would be best for us if you think I
can wait that long.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He agreed that I could, and I left his office feeling like
I’d just gotten a new lease on life. I could home school. I could teach. I felt
fine. I didn’t have to worry about anything for two months. I basically put it
out of my mind and hardly thought about it because the fall was so busy and I
wanted to live right where I was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, but now it’s the week of Thanksgiving and the time for
surgery is here. We finally told our kids. We decided not to use the word
“cancer” because not only are we not completely certain, but they have read
books about people dying from cancer and I don’t want to scare them when all I
will need is a simple operation. So we told them that Mommy has something in
her neck that needs to come out and they’ll have fun with Grandma and Grandpa
while I’m in the hospital, and they immediately started chattering about the
baby alien in my neck and that was that. Let’s just say they’re not at all
worried and I’m glad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not wrapping up with any grandiose theme because I don’t
have one. Medical stuff happens no matter how healthy you are or try to be. We
live and serve and worship in this broken, uncertain place, where the healing
hasn’t happened yet, like Ellie Holcomb sings in “Find You Here.” Jesus is here
and we experience Him in a new way when the ground shifts beneath our feet and
we realize our life may not be as secure and stable as we thought and we really
we are desperately vulnerable and we really do need Him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeLwqiRT3P493h2oW0bBYRhg1qpv-lyGix1AnlXkSOWGBXci7TxrkkGziwjOqNOeuM_JRePJFmX6ggmf21CkepLxdjn9gCA_Mvkef2WtYglTFW3xW13OEsw8cfRtLPOnyE8zGbKvMcomE/s1600/Lisa_Elanor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeLwqiRT3P493h2oW0bBYRhg1qpv-lyGix1AnlXkSOWGBXci7TxrkkGziwjOqNOeuM_JRePJFmX6ggmf21CkepLxdjn9gCA_Mvkef2WtYglTFW3xW13OEsw8cfRtLPOnyE8zGbKvMcomE/s640/Lisa_Elanor.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
P.S. I know the way some of you may show love is by offering
advice, but I would ask that you please not give me any advice right now. I’ve
gotten sufficient medical advice from my doctors, and have also heard the
alternative perspective from my husband and mother-in-law who have helped me
find ways to naturally treat cancer while I wait for surgery. So I would just
ask for your prayers right now!</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-91719492856638244522017-10-24T10:56:00.002-07:002017-10-24T11:12:55.875-07:00The Vitamix Gets Hot: Roux, Lemon Curd, & Chocolate Pudding<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->Today I’m taking a break to write about cooking. I love to
cook, and I share recipes on my blog for, I’ll admit, two reasons. One is that
I hope some of you make them and like them. Another is that especially for a
recipe that I’ve adapted, storing it on my blog means that I’ll be able to find
it in the future. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked up my <a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2015/08/healthy-summer-pies-berry-lime-chocolate.html">HealthySummer Pies link</a>.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As the weather gets colder, I’m experimenting with warm
recipes in the Vitamix. Did you know that the Vitamix can get your food so hot
that you have to open the lid carefully away from you so that you don’t get a
steam burn? We’re talking serious cooking here. Essentially, anything smooth
that you normally make over the stove (probably with lots of whisking) can be
made in the Vitamix with a push of a button.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the three recipes I’m about to share say to “press the
hot soup button.” If your version of the Vitamix doesn’t have this button,
start at low speed and then increase to high. Keep it running on high without
stopping until the sauce is thick, about 5 minutes. Keep the lid on so that
steam can’t escape and the food can get to the proper temperature to cook.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not trying to sell the Vitamix here. I don’t sell
anything. The Vitamix is expensive (though Ben got ours on sale and
refurbished). If you love to cook healthy and easy, you’ll probably love it and
end up using it a lot. Otherwise, it’s probably not for you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">White Sauce (Roux)</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ cup butter</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ cup flour</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ tsp salt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 cups milk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Place four ingredients (in that order) in the Vitamix. Press
the hot soup button.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That is it</i>. I grew
up making white sauce in the microwave, removing and stirring every couple
minutes. As an adult, I learned to make it over the stove. And I could make a
pretty good one, but only with some serious whisk action to keep it completely
smooth. I still can’t quite get over how easy this recipe is. A white sauce can
be the basis for multiple recipes—maybe the easiest one is to stir in cheese
and use as a pasta sauce.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg0A7bDZtEpZt431IwJ-ZXx_gMAvcWMlVb_d73C-KLAT30QhsoQ7K7PtQT59tbLymoF_HKi-OhUCUZzAo1sQyj4QfvC2w1uROklYfetOrBRCHqSG15u5FyIL05QXeR7Mapc7DBBzb69jE/s1600/1024171349a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="798" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg0A7bDZtEpZt431IwJ-ZXx_gMAvcWMlVb_d73C-KLAT30QhsoQ7K7PtQT59tbLymoF_HKi-OhUCUZzAo1sQyj4QfvC2w1uROklYfetOrBRCHqSG15u5FyIL05QXeR7Mapc7DBBzb69jE/s640/1024171349a.jpg" width="316" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lemon Curd</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">1 whole large lemon</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">4 egg yolks</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">1 stick butter</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">1½ cups sugar</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">Cut the lemon in half and remove
any seeds. You can either keep the entire peel, or remove part of it. I think
keeping the entire peel is a bit heavy in the lemon zest department—I would
remove a third or half the peel.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">Place all ingredients in Vitamix
and blend on high until mixed, using the Vitamix tamper. Stop and use the
spatula to scrape down the sides. Then, place lid on and blend using hot soup
button; stop when thick and cooked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black;">I’d love to see this recipe
adapted to use less sugar. I’ve only made it once and was hesitant to be too
adventurous my first time, but I think that stevia could probably replace some
of the sugar.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Chocolate Pudding</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 cups milk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ tsp salt</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ cup sugar<br />
5 tbsp flour</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
¼ cup chocolate chips (or sweetened chocolate piece of
comparable size)<br />
1 egg<br />
1 tsp vanilla<br />
1 tsp butter</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Place milk, salt, and sugar into Vitamix and press hot soup
button. (Have it continue mixing as you add the other ingredients.) About 2
minutes in, add flour, unsweetened cocoa, and chocolate chips; then replace
lid. Wait another minute, then crack in egg and replace lid. When the pudding
is thick, add vanilla and butter, mix briefly, then stop. Pour into dishes,
chill, and serve alone or with whipped cream and sliced strawberries.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adapted from <a href="http://sogoodsoeasy.blogspot.com/2009/04/chocolate-vita-mix-pudding.html">http://sogoodsoeasy.blogspot.com/2009/04/chocolate-vita-mix-pudding.html</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you own a Vitamix and do you use it for any hot recipes?
I’d love to hear your ideas! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-80203244055029739752017-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:002017-10-12T11:32:35.549-07:00Rhythms of Our School Year<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Confession: I love structure. Without it, I feel the
terrifying chaos of each instrument playing its own discordant notes. A wave of
the baton, and they all (hopefully) come together into beautiful music.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to work full-time as a teacher, and the schedule felt
as comforting to me as a warm sweater around my soul. I knew exactly what I
would be doing at 8:12 a.m. or 12:34 p.m. One of the challenges of changing to
a more home-based existence has been the loss of that schedule. I used to
imagine how when I would home school, I would ring the bell at 8:30 a.m. and
voila! The first class of the day will begin to all my children’s eager,
bright, and shining faces.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I struggle with idealism.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Homeschooling didn’t work like that in our family, and for
that (and so many other) reasons, we almost quit last year. I am what you could
call a hesitant homeschooler, or I guess a more negative description is that a
few times every year you’ll find me rethinking and on the verge of quitting. I
don’t believe it’s the only way for everybody, or even the best way for
everybody. I love being a classroom teacher, and part of that as a mom means
finding good classroom opportunities for my kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But after a lot of consideration of options, and finally
reconciling myself to the truth that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">there
is no perfect choice—only the best imperfect choice for our particular family
in this particular season</i>, we decided to homeschool again this year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Evidence of the growth of my soul—I am becoming more okay
with chaos. I don’t want to hold rigid to an unrealistic schedule, and then
crumble to pieces with it when it fails. I want a deep inner peace independent
of my particular circumstances. (Which to be specific, this morning meant
having a book thrown at me three times by a child who is learning … ahem … not
to throw books.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiKN0sAyREZvDJGcH3mQLyvgzu-tkz_8s5erzxdjYa5geaRBwelmS8wEqC_Scu3KT3UdNd3XteeD6Wl94HgX1imysQnqp7iMPpnGZc22lwAmM9Ggp24M9sU9sIDHkgkuEdTCq7mLBQzk4/s1600/0914171554a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiKN0sAyREZvDJGcH3mQLyvgzu-tkz_8s5erzxdjYa5geaRBwelmS8wEqC_Scu3KT3UdNd3XteeD6Wl94HgX1imysQnqp7iMPpnGZc22lwAmM9Ggp24M9sU9sIDHkgkuEdTCq7mLBQzk4/s400/0914171554a.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
So in my mind’s eye I cross out the word schedule and then
write routine. Then I cross out routine and write the word <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rhythm.</i> Yes, that’s what I want. Something flexible that can go
slower or faster at a given time, but a tempo to keep us all (somewhat)
together.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I love reading about schedules—I mean, rhythms, I
decided to share mine here. This is not because I’m recommending it to anyone
else. Each family finds their own schedule in their own season. You’ll also
find it’s not very stringent and includes <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a
lot of margin</i>, which is the only reason why we’ve been able to keep at it
for going on seven weeks now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6:00-7:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben and I wake up, workout, shower.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
During this early morning hour, I also try to make choices that
feed my soul. I listen to worship music while I exercise. (My workout is still
pretty tame as I recover from chronic Lyme, so no videos or runs yet!) I turn
on a podcast after I get out of the shower. God-Centered Mom is one of my
favorites. I listen for about ten minutes a day, which is about one episode a
week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7:00-7:30</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boys wake up, and while Ben takes care of Brennan (after
he snuggles with Mommy), David and I have Bible time together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7:30-8:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben does P.E. class with David and Elanor while Brennan and
I make breakfast. Brennan at two years old is a huge help in the kitchen, as
I’m sure you can imagine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8:00-8:30</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some combination of the kids getting dressed, emptying the
dishwasher, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth. We are working toward eating
breakfast as a family at the dining room table more often. Ben usually leaves
for work—either driving away or walking downstairs to his office, depending on
the day—around 8:10.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the reasons this morning schedule has worked for us
is that it doesn’t really take 30 minutes to have Bible time with David, or to
do P.E. class, or to eat breakfast. All the margin built in means that Ben
usually gets time to eat with us and we usually start school on time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkGC4BsHejZnLdYkzOVoxIqc3itFbPwJQoqDmLyTR7A3XJyWFADyczdoGPFxtizTeEorHPqYf82stASmWLEIoDEklA13vFDMzKJNVFTtNVp8IRs_Bd3bPgYYUQy6IBgzX0UY0hVriWkc/s1600/1012170938.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnkGC4BsHejZnLdYkzOVoxIqc3itFbPwJQoqDmLyTR7A3XJyWFADyczdoGPFxtizTeEorHPqYf82stASmWLEIoDEklA13vFDMzKJNVFTtNVp8IRs_Bd3bPgYYUQy6IBgzX0UY0hVriWkc/s400/1012170938.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8:30-9:45</b>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bookwork homeschooling. David sits at the dining room table,
Elanor sits at the kitchen island, and they both work through their books—math,
language arts, handwriting, thinking skills. Brennan plays happily in his room,
making sure not to interrupt us. David and Elanor both grasp new concepts
quickly and without complaint, and I have ample opportunity to gaze out the
window, breathe deeply, and contemplate how peaceful homeschooling can be.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Just kidding. This time is almost always crazy chaotic as I
attempt extreme multitasking. I’ve found that if I zoom in on any given moment,
it often looks like we’re failing—Brennan’s hands are clawing up my skirt as he
demands my help to pull puzzle pieces out of the vacuum cleaner, Elanor is
crying because she can’t understand why <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">apple
</i>doesn’t have an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">e </i>in it and she threw
her pencil and the lead broke again, and David is frustrated that he can’t
solve 27 divided by 3. All from this morning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zooming in on individual moments of craziness can seem like
a failure, so I’m learning to take a deep breath and zoom out. Both David and
Elanor are ahead of schedule grade-wise. Learning at home with a side of
classroom experience seems to be working well for their introverted
personalities and their friendships. Brennan is developmentally on track. I am
feeling less anxious and more healthy and whole than I did last year. It’s all
okay.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve also learned that for me to survive this time of day in
this season, I need to take this time to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">just
home school</i>. Absolutely no laundry folding, dinner making in the crockpot,
Facebook scrolling, email answering, what have you, can happen now. I am
stretched to capacity. I can only keep my sanity if everything else waits.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9:45</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recess outside! Thank you, Ben, for the trampoline and
playset! I don’t know what we will do when the weather turns cold or rainy. Bundle
up and go outside as long as we can, I suppose. We really need this break.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAK2Gf3pPT14ZYySuwO6jmcmakv4G511c4m_9rtrh5U12Xf0PVEbbQgBUIhryf5CBawEmkQB4h8mCFYFAg5vZkYQViGpum01P7C2WXddBtNrO9aMhObW6D3MHjXNnWcjrQr_BViP_4EkU/s1600/0922171035.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAK2Gf3pPT14ZYySuwO6jmcmakv4G511c4m_9rtrh5U12Xf0PVEbbQgBUIhryf5CBawEmkQB4h8mCFYFAg5vZkYQViGpum01P7C2WXddBtNrO9aMhObW6D3MHjXNnWcjrQr_BViP_4EkU/s400/0922171035.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10:00-10:30</b>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Keep in mind all these times are a bit approximate, as I
look for natural breaks occurring in the kids’ work.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We come inside, and Brennan has movie time while David does
more bookwork and Elanor and I work on phonics together. I really need this
1-on-1 uninterrupted time with her, as she’s learning to read this year.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10:30-11:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Science or history time while Brennan and I make lunch (my
kitchen helper strikes again!). For science, David reads to himself (and then I
quiz him), and I try to find age-appropriate library books that explain similar
concepts that David can read to Elanor. For history, David and Elanor listen
together to the audio of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Story of the World</i>.
Then I quiz them, and we supplement with more library books.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">11:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lunchtime. We eat an early lunch, because otherwise everyone
is hungry and asking for snacks. After lunch, David finishes any school he didn’t
get done earlier. I sometimes read aloud to Elanor and Brennan together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">12:00 or 1:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Quiet time begins anywhere in this time, when Brennan goes
down for a nap, Elanor listens to audio books in her room, and David either
works on more school, reads, does <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Star
Wars </i>origami (his new obsession), or plays Minecraft. This is my working
time to prepare curriculum or grade papers for the classes I’m teaching, answer
emails, do homemaking administration, or very occasionally, blog.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Later afternoon</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Playtime or chore time—doing laundry or making dinner—on same
days going to piano lesson or gymnastics class—maybe having a friend over or
letting the kids watch a show so I can catch up on something.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5:00 or 6:00</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dinner!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Evening</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Monday is small group twice a month and David has running
club, Tuesday is Bible Study Fellowship, Wednesday alternates Awana and running
club, Thursday and Friday (oh blessed days!) nothing. In the evening we also
try (sometimes squished in before or after events) to have Bible time and
read-aloud time with David and Elanor. I used to do these subjects in the
morning, but I’ve found that moving them to the evening makes my mornings more
doable, and also Ben can be involved. I also love that Ben has taken on P.E. in
the early mornings. Taking the three subjects P.E., Bible, and Literature out
of the mid-morning has definitely helped that time be more doable for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elanor and Brennan’s bedtime is 8:30, David is 9:00, and Ben
and I are 10:00. I’m really trying to get 8 hours of sleep each night (at least
7 might be a little more realistic) since my life demands so much energy right
now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So there you have it, the rhythm of our days. I love it—and you
know what I’m also learning to love is taking a break from it, going on a field
trip to the farm, having co-op on Mondays when none of the home stuff happens,
letting the kids play outside a little longer, doing school in the afternoon because
we had friends over in the morning. We need to do our rhythm often enough that
we have a default mode, but I’m learning to embrace days of variety, and
experience that flexibility truly is one of the advantages of homeschooling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’d love to hear about your schedules, routines, rhythms,
what you do that works for you. And if you’re in a season of chaos where no two
days are the same, that’s okay, hang in there, this too shall pass!</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-88328669533318143022017-10-03T11:23:00.000-07:002017-10-12T11:03:39.555-07:00My Lyme StoryI hesitate even to put into writing that I want to blog more
frequently. My life right now is so full to the brim—which I am learning to see
as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a good thing</i>, that my life is full
of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">blessing</i> not of burden, that these
are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">opportunities</i> not <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">overwhelming things</i>—but in this season
of life, any writing needs to take a far back seat and I can’t apologize for
those seasons when it just doesn’t happen at all.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve also reconsidered why I blog—I mean, clearly it’s not
to show off my awesome web design skills, to make money, or to build a number
of followers. I want to write simply as an expression of my soul, a
clarification of my own thoughts, and a hope that maybe it will empower someone
else along the way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you want to read my blog on the rare occasions that I do
post, would you do me a favor—to the right of this blog title,
you’ll see a space under “Follow by Email” where you can <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">submit your email address</b>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You won’t be spammed. I tried it as an experiment. You’ll
just get an email whenever I do blog. I’ll still try to share my blog posts on
Facebook, and on Instagram if I can figure out how, but I’m spending less and
less of my time scrolling through my Facebook Newsfeed, and it seems ironic
that I rely on others doing that if they’re going to read my writing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Okay, so today I wanted to share my Lyme story. Because I
believe that around the words “Lyme disease” there lurks not only a lot of
confusion but also a lot of fear. I don’t google Lyme disease symptoms or even
testimonies much anymore because of the fear that emanates from so many of
them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you have Lyme, or
are going to get Lyme (and I mean chronic, even debilitating Lyme), you don’t
have to be afraid. You can be brave.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked around online to find a Lyme T-shirt because I
wanted to share my story and bolster my fighter attitude. Too many of the ones
I found shared a message along the lines of, “I have Lyme, which means I’m
hurting right now, and no one understands me” which just sounded a bit too angsty.
Okay, yes, a lot of people (and doctors) don’t get unseen chronic pain. I
understand that. I found a T-shirt I like that makes me feel like a fighter:<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoPIldWJbkQJW3pHKHJpfvX6sJgfPuKyPSdMeZ4Zwdw2mT0vmYHUKNFxvt4NvgG77Mu9TkBUyEiV865tkZJ9-6jZw0GeZic3M4oBiEGMJDJyi_u7imQX3_y7hLbcnH8LXg2tum-COMzHs/s1600/0908172114a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoPIldWJbkQJW3pHKHJpfvX6sJgfPuKyPSdMeZ4Zwdw2mT0vmYHUKNFxvt4NvgG77Mu9TkBUyEiV865tkZJ9-6jZw0GeZic3M4oBiEGMJDJyi_u7imQX3_y7hLbcnH8LXg2tum-COMzHs/s320/0908172114a.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">My Story</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you remember January 23, 2016, at all, you might remember
it’s the day about three feet of snow fell on this part of the country. The day
it started snowing, my left foot started hurting and I couldn’t do my morning
exercise. I didn’t think much about it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of my three children, the youngest was seven months old. I
was in the middle of the Whole 30, a paleo diet, to lose the remaining baby
weight. I was blogging about my diet and determined to get back to my healthy
normal.<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYzABhh48NhXl0iBH5NByDTLY91-5lT3TsBHTOp6xP2q1j0KOM_viFWb3pfyMSNTDAHOhkdoyqUaqHYaTN5pJraPw73DhsZgjL-XeSFfnVbEZhSQFAqo8t5C76YidqhlgrCF9o2Z27fOs/s1600/0106161911b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYzABhh48NhXl0iBH5NByDTLY91-5lT3TsBHTOp6xP2q1j0KOM_viFWb3pfyMSNTDAHOhkdoyqUaqHYaTN5pJraPw73DhsZgjL-XeSFfnVbEZhSQFAqo8t5C76YidqhlgrCF9o2Z27fOs/s320/0106161911b.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
Within a few days, my foot was hurting so much I could
hardly put weight on it, and it was ice cold. I visited a podiatrist, who did
an X-ray, then ordered an MRI, and could find nothing wrong. He told me to wear
a foot brace, take ibuprofen, and hope the pain went away. (I really don’t
blame him or any of the other doctors who couldn’t figure out what was going
on. They were kind and professional and tried to help me, but what I was
experiencing was outside their expertise.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A low point for me was sitting in his parking lot, weeping.
My foot was killing me in a tight, cold, horrible pain. I needed to pick up my
kids, breastfeed the baby, go home, make dinner. It all seemed impossible. To
me in that moment, the worst-case scenario was a freak foot injury that would
take six weeks to heal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wore a foot brace for the next three months. I could
hobble along with it, and walk barely at all without it. My foot was cold and
painful. I visited a podiatrist, an orthopedist, a physical therapist, a naturopath,
and a neurologist.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I specifically remember the hour commute and long walk down
the hallway to the neurologist’s office. Everything was so slow then—I could
see the door where I was heading, and in a minute or two, I would get there. I
stayed to the right and others would pass me. I got accustomed to looks of
pity. I didn’t like “what did you do to your foot?” questions because I had no
answer. The margins of my devotional from that time reveal my fear that I would
never walk again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_BtYAHGv2_76YDlEL5kuveyVCjmMNcLxjIHGWBE_BXe4-JG4PA7S5fU3FTDLBQoKf1tD8GbiNPC3VBUNPiM4wh1jTAJhHOBPpTJqDtul_wuHEjpBn9aagR0Ue8TVaJIPhhpYd1k2TmA/s1600/0201161621.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg_BtYAHGv2_76YDlEL5kuveyVCjmMNcLxjIHGWBE_BXe4-JG4PA7S5fU3FTDLBQoKf1tD8GbiNPC3VBUNPiM4wh1jTAJhHOBPpTJqDtul_wuHEjpBn9aagR0Ue8TVaJIPhhpYd1k2TmA/s400/0201161621.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<br />
When visiting our family doctor for my baby’s checkup,
almost on a whim, I asked for a Lyme test. It came back as positive, but my
doctor told me that my foot pain was probably unrelated. He prescribed
Amoxicillin since I was still breastfeeding, and I took it for a month. It made
no difference.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In April, I made the difficult decision to wean my son at
ten months old. Without knowing if it would even help, I started doxycycline and
the Cowden protocol. Over the next few weeks, I would spend hours curled up on
the couch almost comatose. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the Lyme
herx reaction, where you feel worse before you feel better. As the Lyme is
dying, the pain increases.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In May, I took off the boot and started wearing real shoes
again. But it wasn’t the “hurrah! I’m better!” moment that I’d hoped for—or that
some people assumed, once they saw the boot off. My foot was still tender, and
my upper left leg was now hurting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I assumed my leg pain was related to wearing a boot for three
months, and saw another physical therapist to help me “learn to walk again.” June
was a terrible month for me. In my months of foot pain, nothing had hurt except
my foot. Now the Lyme had been released from that tiny metatarsal area and was
hurting my entire left leg and messing with my brain. Every step was pain, and
I was terribly depressed. I wasn’t suicidal, but I kept thinking that my
husband and kids would be so much better off if I was dead. I didn’t even
realize how irrational that thought was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In July I visited Dr. Carolyn Walsh in Leesburg, Virginia. I
printed out my notes, and when she asked me my story, I was so low that I just
started crying and handed it to her. She prescribed a combination of three
antibiotics: minocycline (in the doxycycline family), biaxin, and flagyl. These
three were pulsed according to a strict schedule.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She also wanted me to continue Cowden, increase my Vitamin
C, take regular Omega 3s and a strong probiotic, and start taking NAC and
Ubiquinol. Within two days of starting NAC and Ubiquinol, my depression lifted.
I woke up one morning and was like, “Whoa, I’m happy!” I didn’t realize until
then how dark my life had become. I have a new appreciation for the reality of
physical depression and new compassion for those who experience it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
July through October was a series of pulsing antibiotics and
gradually feeling better. I took nothing for granted—in October I walked a few
blocks around our neighborhood and felt fine! Woohoo! Little things like that
were huge to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is where I wish I could say “happily ever after” and be
done, but I still haven’t gotten to that clear ending. In January 2017 my pain
worsened again, then got better. In March, I had a flare up in my left ankle
and could barely walk for two days. When something like that happens, I tend to
panic. I don’t know if it’s going to last for two days, two months, two years—all
I know is that I suddenly, inexplicably, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t
walk</i>. As in, I’m walking down the hallway, and the first ten steps I’m
fine, and then suddenly I can’t take the eleventh. It comes without warning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told myself, “Next flare up you are not going to panic.
You know what to do now. You take antibiotics, the pain might get worse, then
it goes away. You can do this.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Next flare up in May, when the pain spread to my right leg for
the first time and I could barely drive, I was trying to remember that “no
panic” rule, but my brain was in full freak-out mode. I was more objective this
time to recognize that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the panic itself
was a Lyme symptom</i>. I knew that the pain was treatable and was not going to
last. But my body was experiencing inflammation and my brain was in a haze of
physical anxiety.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re freaking out about Lyme, can I encourage you with this—that
anxiety may very well be physical. Something in your brain is off. Give
yourself grace. Physical anxiety is not a sin any more than a common cold or
flu, but just like any sickness, it can be a temptation to sin. And God always
provides a way out. In the middle of weakness, there is such great grace to
rest in His arms and just admit, “My brain and body are freaking out right now,
but I want to trust You. Jesus, hold me and get me through.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the spring of 2017, I decided with Dr. Walsh’s counsel to
quit the Cowden protocol—it’s expensive and didn’t seem to be doing me any
good. That said, one thing I have learned with Lyme is that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">different things work for different people</i>.
It makes sense that the healthier you are in general, the better your body is
going to fight Lyme. Build your immune system. Keep taking probiotics. Do all
you can to be healthy. But, just because that supplement or that diet was
someone else’s miracle cure does not mean it will work for you. It’s okay if it
doesn’t. You will find with a good specialist’s help what does work for you. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Keep positive because so much of the battle
is in your brain.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the spring and summer I also tried light therapy, which I
think really helped me. I started taking the herbs Stephen Buhner recommends
for Lyme. I refilled my antibiotics and did one more round. I try to be really
careful with antibiotic use—follow a pulsing schedule, take a break in between
rounds, take lots of probiotics. For me this mitigated the effects of
antibiotics, and I experienced a lot of healing from them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ultimately, what has helped me and what hasn’t? It’s hard to
always know for sure. I haven’t had a flare up since May, so I’ll take that as
a sign that what I’m doing now is working! I still have a little bit of
residual pain. Frequently I have thoughts like, “Whoa, my knee hurts” or “Ouch,
my ankle” but often those thoughts are gone as quickly as they come. So I don’t
know that I could say my Lyme is completely in remission, but I’m functional
again. I can live and walk and care for my kids and work and do what I want to
do. I have a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">very simple </i>exercise
routine, and I’m hoping maybe next year I can start running.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Does Lyme mean the end of your life? In a way, yes. Because
it’s a beginning of a new life where you are braver. You are stronger. You are
more aware of your body and spirit. You make healthier choices. You don’t take
one darn thing for granted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t listen to the voices of denial that say chronic Lyme
disease doesn’t exist—of course it does. Your suffering is validated and real.
But also, don’t listen to the voices of fear that if you venture into the woods
and never find that minuscule tick, you will be ruined. No, you won’t. You will
find redemption in your suffering. You will find hope in the fight.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-21977538825534204602016-11-28T11:41:00.002-08:002017-10-12T11:05:20.335-07:00Books Like Lavender and Chamomile Tea<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5x0h0kx0XvDWcu_O7lC3zxk5tKuI4wBVZGhgHS6iYt_TguMbdUk_7p73hyFStFNmWIL8ji8B1REtGcpu9IEGSXDKJ3enADA51V2dxlLGNOw3dPzYkvQf-oqoIeyWzrf3BpKMOIo6OVM4/s1600/0822160920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5x0h0kx0XvDWcu_O7lC3zxk5tKuI4wBVZGhgHS6iYt_TguMbdUk_7p73hyFStFNmWIL8ji8B1REtGcpu9IEGSXDKJ3enADA51V2dxlLGNOw3dPzYkvQf-oqoIeyWzrf3BpKMOIo6OVM4/s400/0822160920.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am unapologetically opposed to thrillers right now.
Horror, suspense, crime, gothic, any page-turner that might keep me awake and
add stress to my life—just no. Come back another decade of my life. Maybe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now I read to relax, usually for half an hour or an
hour before bedtime. This year my life has been full of the little day-to-day
stresses that come with small children and a part-time job, and also some
bigger stressful events. I struggle with anxiety and insomnia anyway. For the
last few years I’ve maintained practices that have helped keep these in check,
and one of these practices is choosing to unwind with a restful activity in the
evening.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hence, reading books that are like lavender and chamomile
tea. And by that I don’t mean sappy and sentimental—that would be more
irritating than relaxing, to me at least—but truly good fiction and nonfiction
books that provoke thought and bring enjoyment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t blogged about what I’ve been reading for … well, a
long time … so I have a long list that I will review briefly. (Note to self: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">briefly.</i>)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Paul Miller</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Praying Life</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Loving Life</i>, and right now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love Walked Among Us</i> have been my
nonfiction selections of the last several months. I read nonfiction slower than
fiction—usually only half a chapter or a chapter a day. I love Miller’s
literary writing style and his convicting honesty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Praying Life </i>reshaped
how I pray. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Loving Life</i> is my
favorite of his books—it’s not a marriage book per se, though there’s lots of
application in that area, since it’s about love in all our relationships. His
theme of the J curve and how love leads to death and then resurrection spoke
powerfully to me. So often I expect love to be easy and happy, and then when
it’s not, I wonder if I made a wrong turn somewhere. Real love is hard but
worth it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love Walked Among Us</i>
is specifically about how Jesus loved. It is oh-so-practical on topics like how
to respond to manipulation or how to confront. I’m halfway through this one and
loving it so far.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Magic of Ordinary
Days</i> by Ann Howard Creel</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I read this in late summer, and in hindsight it’s my
favorite fiction of the year. I can’t even put my finger on why I liked it so
much. It’s so memorable. It draws you in. It’s kind of an upgrade on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love Comes Softly</i>. It’s nuanced and
honest.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Lake House</i> by
Kate Morton</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This novel was my treat to myself while staying at a lake
house this summer. It’s an engrossing vacation read. Kate Morton has definite
Gothic overtones, and one of her books I put down partway through because it
was a little too disturbing for me. This one is a wonderful read, though. She’s
so skillful in how she weaves together a plot from two different time periods
and multiple viewpoints. I just read it admiring her art and loving her
characters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Everything I Never
Told You</i> by Celeste Ng</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a novel about family dysfunction and specifically
how children are pressured by their parent’s experiences and expectations.
These characters largely respond to their issues by burying them—until
something happens so tragic that they have to deal with their stuff. I found
the mother difficult to relate to. But all in all, this is a well-told story
and it challenged me to think about how my life experiences impact my
parenting. It’s definitely a warning not to put on our children pressures
formed by our own disappointments and insecurities.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Peace Like a</i> <i>River</i> by Leif Enger</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the expense of sounding a like a teenager, I’ll say this
book was a little weird but still cool. The ending particularly is like, what?!
But the development of characters and setting is so spot on, and I definitely
felt myself drawn into the family drama and sympathetic to everyone involved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Winter Garden</i> by
Kristin Hannah</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kristin Hannah’s novels always seem to have at least two
major female characters (this one has three—a mother and two daughters), and
though there’s romance on the periphery of her stories, the focus of the plot
is always on the relationships between the women. She’s not my favorite
author—she sometimes seems a bit unrealistic and contrived. But that said, this
was another fascinating story, even if it did toe the line of what constitutes
“relaxing” and maybe I was researching the siege of Leningrad on my phone at 10
PM.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>America’s First Daughter</i> by Stephanie Dray and Laura Kamoie</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well-researched, fascinating historical novel about Thomas
Jefferson’s oldest daughter. After reading a novel about Sally Hemings earlier
this year, I was interested to read about this period in history from a
different perspective. I appreciate how this novel deals with the nuance of
Jefferson’s family—it’s not overly condemning or praising, and it helps to
understand the challenges of that time period. I read this shortly before the
election and decided that Jefferson being elected President was probably a more
traumatic election cycle than what we just endured. Historical perspective
helps.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">The Mitford Series by Jan Karon</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
If any books fit the chamomile tea
analogy, it would be these. So relaxing. I really enjoyed the first of the series—loved
the characters and the small town humor. But to be honest, books 2 and 3 are in
my bedroom waiting to be read. I only made if halfway through book 2. Maybe
this series is a bit too relaxing?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Truly Madly Guilty</i> by Liane Moriarty</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
Liane Moriarty always seems to
have some moral ambiguity in her stories, and at least one PG-13 plot line.
That said, I can’t think of any other contemporary author whose
characterization is so spot-on. She can write empathetically from almost any
viewpoint. It’s fascinating to see one character from another character’s eyes,
and then promptly switch places. I think this kind of reading can bring a
greater empathy and self-awareness to life as you’re more cognizant of what it
might be like to walk in someone else’s shoes.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
<br /></div>
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This novel focuses on three
couples who experience a crisis together. Each of the six characters—four in
particular—struggle in specific ways that affect their marriages. I appreciate
how Moriarty deals honestly with the stuff of life and emphasizes the priority
of working through that stuff and staying married. Besides, she’s just fun to
read.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 80.25pt;">
That’s all I can remember from the
last several months—next up is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hillbilly
Elegy </i>which I am excited about, and I’m hoping to get my hands on Ann
Voskamp’s latest book for my next nonfiction read.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-55125287794029460302016-10-16T10:49:00.002-07:002017-10-12T11:10:28.328-07:00Foster Care: Saying Goodbye<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij79ldl4hciWLd-jXS4P7Z2uchPPzzSicgsTonwS-Bvk6FSpRHTZN4Bfj9HVhJrShAg0Dem_basDkePWYVVdHECTES1BqUTFdyFsd4pfw2H26Tx6V0_GszFxJo8cj3sez_8eZ3JmwzvzA/s1600/0928160748.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij79ldl4hciWLd-jXS4P7Z2uchPPzzSicgsTonwS-Bvk6FSpRHTZN4Bfj9HVhJrShAg0Dem_basDkePWYVVdHECTES1BqUTFdyFsd4pfw2H26Tx6V0_GszFxJo8cj3sez_8eZ3JmwzvzA/s400/0928160748.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A few years ago, I drove a little baby I loved to the home
of someone I didn’t really know or trust, and left him there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think I’ll forever remember the “Mom, what gives?” look of
confusion he gave me as I turned away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
drove home thinking, “This is not me. I do not do this. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I do not leave my baby behind!!!”</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But at that moment it was me, it was a me who had no other
choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The baby I loved was not in my
legal custody, I did not have the option of keeping him, and it was my job as
his foster mom who had raised him from newborn to first birthday, to leave him
with birth family for a week at that time, and later permanently.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That goodbye was soul-searing for me to the point that I sometimes
think of my life as two periods before and after that loss, because grief
changes you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that grief has
helped me become a stronger person with a deeper faith and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, to be honest, I fear that it’s
also made me a little more hardened and cynical than the naively optimistic
person I was before.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week I’m preparing to say goodbye to a foster child
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This time around it’s different
because it’s only been a few months and I’m not as deeply bonded (am I? it’s
hard to even tell sometimes).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it’s
also more complicated because ending this placement was partly our choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In other words, I am sending a child away from my home,
which on top of all the normal guilt we moms feel, makes me feel like a really
horrible-in-the-worst-way, that’s-it-I’m-abandoning-you, type of mom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I first got the call this summer, standing beside the swimming
pool, talking first with the caseworker, then with my husband, then with the
caseworker again, we decided to accept this placement tentatively, on a trial
basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve only fostered babies
before, and this time we had said we would accept a child up to age four, and
this call was about a girl a few years older than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But still we said yes, we would give it a
try.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I don’t regret that yes, because I know that the last few
months have grown us in good ways, and I hope they have been healing and
helpful to this little girl as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
had a “honeymoon” period of a few weeks when we were all getting settled in
together (though if you had told me then it was a honeymoon period, I would
have laughed, because it was really, really hard, as in thinking to myself
several times a day “I can’t do this” hard).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then unsafe behaviors began, and my whole view of normal
shifted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other parenting concerns I had
in the past—toddler tantrums, defiance, asking why, sibling arguments, bedtime
troubles, all the daily drama, etc., etc., suddenly paled in comparison to—how
do you respond when you are suddenly attacked by a child who is big enough to do
you harm?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you manage unsafe
behaviors when there are small children in the home?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What makes these questions so hard to consider is that most
of the time, we have really sweet moments with our foster daughter. We snuggle
together and watch movies. We go to the pool and the playground and the apple
orchard. We laugh together over jokes and developed a super power of eating
multiple leaves of spinach at once. We talk about Jesus and pray. We sing and
listen to music and dance. She spells my name “mis lesu” and writes me notes
and I write her back. We have bonded deeply.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there is no quick fix for years of neglect and abuse in
a child whose deep fears and hurts can suddenly spiral into violent rage. It’s
been way out of my comfort zone to be the target of someone whom I’m only
trying to help. I want to give nurture and love, and sometimes it is received,
but other times it is pushed away and hated because I’m not her birth family
who she longs to be with.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the challenging concepts of foster care, but
something that helped me so much to understand, is this—<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">trauma affects maturity</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
other words, a 20-something woman with a traumatic history may behave like a
12-year-old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was a lightbulb moment
for me when I was trying to help a 20-something homeless woman, and I just
wanted her to be a normal person and accept my help and get a job and get an
apartment, if she was so serious about getting her baby back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But behaviorally, she was 12, and you don’t
expect a 12-year-old to get a job and an apartment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter how well-intentioned they may be, and
no matter how much they may love snuggling their baby, living like an
independent, responsible adult is something that would take a long time for
them to grow into.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the foster care system, we have a lot of birth parents
who act as if they are 12 or 13 because of their own traumatic
backgrounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And their elementary
school-age children may act as if they are 1 or 2 because of the abuse and
neglect they have experienced.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is really problematic. I can totally handle it when my
1-year-old is having a tantrum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can
carry him to a safe place, or buckle him into a car seat or shopping cart. There
is a limit to the damage he can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
imagine that behavior in a child who is much older, who is capable of
unbuckling her seat belt and attacking you while driving, or who can open the
door and run pretty fast down the street.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We need so much compassion here, because it’s easy to slip
into judgment—<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">oh my gosh, this is
horrible behavior</i>—when we need to have eyes to see beyond the anger to the
years of hurt that have caused it. That 1-year-old tantrum needs that 1-year-old
response of, “I love you, you are safe, here’s your blanket and your sippy cup.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But a few weeks ago, we decided we needed to say good-bye,
primarily because we have three birth children in our home who are affected by
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that the needs of our
foster daughter are so great that whenever she is home, my emotional focus is on
her, and I am simply going through the motions with my children, hoping they will
behave well so that they won’t aggravate an already-difficult situation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And one day when I was driving home, I looked in the rear
view mirror and realized that my oldest had his hands over his head and was
staring at his lap, retreating into sullen anger, and my four-year-old was
using words that she didn’t know a couple months ago, and my husband and I
talked about it, and it was clear—this is not a good fit. If we foster right
now, it needs to be children who are younger than our birth three.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We second-guessed that decision, but this time it was our
caseworker who confirmed that this little girl would do better in a home
without small children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is clear in my mind, but not in my heart, which is still
shouting at me, “No, I love her! I can help her! What is going to happen to her
if we send her away?” To say I have conflicted emotions would be an
understatement. I’m kind of a mess right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last few months have opened my eyes to the incredible
need for more foster parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my
season of life, struggling with Lyme and raising three young birth children, I cannot
foster a child with such deep needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
needs to go somewhere else. Where?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our
department has found another home for her, but there are so many others like
her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes we think we need to go on a missions trip to
Africa, or adopt from China, to meet deep needs in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think international missions trips and
adoption are wonderful and I am deeply in favor of both.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But sometimes we become so focused on the
faraway or exotic, that we forget there are deep needs in our own communities.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Within a few miles of your home there is probably be a child
being neglected and abused, needing a safe place to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In your affluent American county, there may
be a child living without electricity and running water, but more importantly,
living without love and security.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who will help them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stepping into the foster care system is full of pain and uncertainty,
and pretty much the only guarantee is that your heart will get smashed up, but
hopefully it will get bigger and better in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the pain of loss can be equaled by the
joy of knowing that you have saved a life, that you have made a difference,
that you have done something that really matters eternally, that you have
experienced the presence of Jesus on the front lines.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, all of this is to say—please pray for us this week,
because good-byes are hard, and this one is really complicated.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-64322426694984406332016-10-14T11:35:00.002-07:002017-10-12T11:24:00.513-07:00For or Against? Loving Our Neighbor This Election Season<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
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<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://p931z2nb6eo1jytzj2ufrzyoiz-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/lowdown/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2016/08/Trump__Clinton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="273" src="https://p931z2nb6eo1jytzj2ufrzyoiz-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/lowdown/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2016/08/Trump__Clinton.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Of all the classes I took in college, the one that may have
made the most difference in my life was Logic at (what seemed in that season of
life) the ungodly hour of 8 a.m. I struggled in clutching my coffee cup,
sometimes narrowly avoiding being late, and listened to my professor explain
concepts that would reshape my mental grid.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One easy-to-understand but revolutionary concept was
this—avoid <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">straw-man arguments</i>, where
you present your opponent’s view in a weak and insupportable way, like a
scarecrow, and then proceed to knock it down to the wild applause of the crowd.
This isn’t real fighting—it’s the coward’s way of emerging as a winner when you
haven’t engaged the real issues. You look like a victor to everyone who already
agrees with you, while those who disagree feel misunderstood and
misrepresented. Using the straw-man argument shows that you’re not really about
understanding the truth; you’re more interested in winning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another concept that rocked my world was the idea of a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">charitable interpretation</i>—the opposite
of the straw-man argument, explaining your opponent’s position in such a strong
and persuasive way, in such a good light, that if your opponent were standing
right beside you they would be like, “Wow, thank you for explaining my position
so well. I know I was understood.”<br />
<br />
A charitable interpretation doesn’t mean
that you agree with your opponent or concede to them; it just means that you
take the time to understand them and put their argument in the best light
possible before you take it down. It’s the courageous way to play.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ever since I finished that Logic class, I’ve been trying to
do this in my own life. Listen to the opposing side. Sit with them awhile.
Consider their view. Re-evaluate my own position. Engage thoughtfully. Quit
knocking down scare-crows.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Recently I’ve been convicted that I’ve been
violating some of my own principles. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
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Way back last summer in 2015, when people were beginning to
look toward the Republican primaries and Donald Trump was starting to be a
major conversation piece, I immediately concluded that I would never vote for
him. No matter what. I was completely appalled by his character. He offended
everything that was important to me. My position since then has never changed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But this last year’s political process has been eye-opening
to me, as I’ve watched how differently my friends have reacted to it. You take
a sampling of people who have the following qualities—they are intelligent,
they are thoughtful, they do their research, they are pro-life, they are
committed Christians—and some are arguing for Hillary Clinton, some for Donald
Trump, and some for no one at all, or a third-party candidate, about which
there is plenty of disagreement as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe this shouldn’t have been so surprising to me, but it
was—how, when we start with so much in common, do we end up on opposite sides
of the fence?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And this is what challenged me—the #NeverTrump movement can
be a comfortable place to be, because it feels like the moral high ground. It’s
easy to be idealistic and self-righteous here. Yes, I’m talking to myself. It’s
easy to construct straw-man arguments—“anyone who votes for Trump doesn’t care
about women who have been assaulted or wants to minimize what they have
suffered,” for example. Or—“any Christian who votes for Trump is putting their
Republican politics above their faith.” (Ouch. Yes. I’m sorry.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happened to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">charitable
interpretation</i>? Our political process, and our conversations online about
it, have turned into such a combat sport, that it can be all about knocking
down scarecrows and emerging as a winner. It may not be nearly as exciting, but
it’s certainly a lot better, to actually listen to the opposing side and
consider.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we put politics above loving our neighbor, we fall into
the trap of thinking that Washington, D.C., is the only place that matters,
that our federal government is where change happens, and that the most
important thing I can do in my life is vote for an American Presidential
candidate. That’s simply not true. These things are important, but they are
just a small piece of what we are called to. No matter who wins this election
and what the consequences are, what will be left of our relationships and
communities when this election is over?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/flbg4rNgORk/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/flbg4rNgORk/maxresdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this is what I’m realizing: My friends who are voting for
Hillary Clinton—you have reasonable arguments that I’ve listened to, and
especially if you’re an evangelical pro-life Christian, you’re doing a brave thing
to swim against the flow here. I don’t agree with you, and voting for Clinton
would violate my conscience, but I get where you’re coming from and I respect
you.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friends who are voting for Donald Trump—I know you are
not like him. I am sorry if in my stand against him I have made you feel
judged. I know you’re making a carefully considered decision to vote for
someone you may have serious reservations about. You maybe think he’s evil, or
at best misguided, or maybe a brand-new Christian with a rough past. But after
looking at all the options, you think a vote for him is a strategic good and
you feel like it’s a moral responsibility for you, and the best thing you can
do for America and for the world. I don’t agree with you, and I still would
like to find a #NeverTrump sign to put in my yard, but I really do understand the
hard choice you’ve had to make and I respect you.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My friends who are voting third-party or not at all—I’m with
you. This is where my sympathies lie, and no matter how irate we sometimes
feel, let’s not get morally superior or just plain annoying about it. And no
matter how much we may be accused of being irresponsible or wasting our vote,
let’s not compromise our principles. If after thinking and praying about it, we’ve
decided that this is where Jesus is calling us, we should never regret trying
our best to follow Him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Really, this election season is just one more test for how
we love God and love our neighbor, and how we walk in humility and faith. We
believe He rules sovereignly and He has a long history of fulfilling His
purposes and writing His story despite (and sometimes through) evil
authorities. Far more important than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">who</i>
we vote for is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how </i>we vote (in fear? cynicism?
doubt? divisiveness? self-righteousness?) and how we treat each other in the
process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For me, this means that for the rest of this election
season, unless you ask my opinion, I’m not going to give it to you (and that
includes Facebook). I’m not going to worry about all the horrible political
things I see online. Much as I think a #NeverTrump sign in my yard would be
fun, I’m too busy chasing my kids around that yard to get one. I’m going to
quietly vote my conscience on Election Day, love all my friends who vote the
same or differently, and live like there’s a lot more to life than politics.
Because there is.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-46806530653523536822016-08-25T09:56:00.000-07:002017-10-12T11:10:45.187-07:00Do Easy Things<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->I have the utmost respect for the “Do Hard Things” movement,
and have even had the privilege of knowing both Alex and Brett Harris a little
bit personally, and I admire them deeply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I think “Do Hard Things” is a great slogan, and exactly what a lot of
people need to hear—get off your ______ and get busy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take that risk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get out of your comfort zone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Learn that new skill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sign up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Show up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be there for other
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Put your gifts to work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Say “yes.”
<br />
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<br /></div>
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But in all things there is balance, and for my personality, with
my tendencies toward over-achieving and legalism, saying “yes” and doing hard
things has never been that much of a struggle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What has been a struggle is sometimes feeling like I’m on a hamster
wheel where I always need to run faster, more and harder is always better, and
choosing the easier route is somehow wrong.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Why order pizza if you can make your own?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why pay for housecleaning if you can scrub
your own toilets?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why use disposable
diapers if you can be greener and cheaper with cloth?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From someone who has cloth diapered, scrubbed toilets, and
made a lot of homemade pizza, let me tell you—these are all great things to
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But on days when these things, and
many things like them, become an obligation, a burden, when you feel a sense of
failure and dread and anxiety for not keeping up and doing enough, it is <i>absolutely okay</i> to order pizza, pay for housecleaning, use disposable diapers,
take the easy route.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In fact, it is not just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">okay</i>,
it is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">better</i>, if taking the easy
route means you have more time and energy to do the more important things (what
may be the truly hard things!), like build relationships, do what feeds your
soul, prioritize your health, and sit on the deck watching the sunset.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year as I planned home schooling, I got all excited
about a “World Cultures” unit I wanted to do with my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were going to learn about all the countries
of the world, snuggling up on the couch reading about different people in
different places, and doing hands-on activities like coloring country flags, using
a sticker atlas, making international food, and cutting out paper dolls with ethnic
clothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a cheap home school mom,
but I spent upwards of $100 on curriculum for this unit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I imagined my children growing up with a
knowledge of world geography, an appreciation for other cultures, an awareness
of their own first world wealth and privilege, and a compassion and respect for
others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In short, I was really enthusiastic about this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the summer, I battled fatigue,
depression, and chronic pain from Lyme disease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the same time as I started improving in late July/early August, we
welcomed a foster daughter into our home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I have a one-year-old who seems crazy bent on destruction of himself
and his surroundings at all times.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Just this morning when I was having a good-mommy moment of
doing phonics homework with the two girls, my baby silently dismembered a
fortunately washable black marker and tried to eat it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He looked like he befriended a particularly
toxic lollipop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moments like this are
typical.) </div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUodDBCyuRdqPHJRWCfT6dxPlOY_2LvaMXlSyCj90135Qlz_tLYay5ox_k5t-QFcmZGbbV6qZUH7pI_Kxg3fmrs4eXOseZ9lf7KprmMYSoj0avJsD7kEGhbVQo1vAvmGQQXtvS5y7qeU/s1600/0824160825.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUodDBCyuRdqPHJRWCfT6dxPlOY_2LvaMXlSyCj90135Qlz_tLYay5ox_k5t-QFcmZGbbV6qZUH7pI_Kxg3fmrs4eXOseZ9lf7KprmMYSoj0avJsD7kEGhbVQo1vAvmGQQXtvS5y7qeU/s400/0824160825.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Cute, huh?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
As I approached the home school year, I felt this
growing sense of dread and overwhelm, as if I couldn’t do it and was doomed to
failure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time I thought about
planning and beginning the school year, I just wanted to crawl in bed and
quit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally I recognized the problem—I
didn’t see how to make the “World Cultures” unit work with everything else we
have going on right now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I gave myself permission to postpone that project.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m still very excited about it, and I think
it will be great for my kids, and all that curriculum is on the shelf waiting,
but it will be even more age-appropriate and hopefully much more possible in a
year or two than it is now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In its
place, I bought the audio of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Story of the
World</i> Volume 1.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because snuggling for an hour of uninterrupted reading
followed by an hour of hands-on projects?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Not possible for me right now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Turning on an audio CD for the older kids while I hold the 1YO with one
arm and make lunch with the other?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now
that I can do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1UgdJ3mcqvvE_OFASSDserGRWXb6vSMisEgqJc3DBphlewuBAjv4uExZ4FJqVOtkTyRKfrcphoWQvr-glCneiJZ3Bd3DKjTJwnUYf2Gn9nJyPA5Y9iHMSJHI4Nb9MpT8YbLZ91k5P2UI/s1600/0818161830.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1UgdJ3mcqvvE_OFASSDserGRWXb6vSMisEgqJc3DBphlewuBAjv4uExZ4FJqVOtkTyRKfrcphoWQvr-glCneiJZ3Bd3DKjTJwnUYf2Gn9nJyPA5Y9iHMSJHI4Nb9MpT8YbLZ91k5P2UI/s400/0818161830.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Part of "do easy things" this school year is no complicated breakfasts. Everything is made the night before, so in the morning all I need to do is put a pan in the oven. This is the beginning of an egg casserole.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ultimately “do easy things” shouldn’t be about taking the
easy road in life, but instead it should be about having the discernment to
know when to make the easy choice that will enable you to do the more important
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Talking with my husband, I
decided that my “big rocks” for this school year were home schooling our kids,
fostering a little girl, and teaching part-time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are three big goals, and I would like very much to see
all three happen successfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in
order to prioritize them, I need to make easy choices elsewhere, and to make
those choices without guilt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On Saturday I had great plans to make homemade pizza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know how in your mind’s eye you can create
this idealized story that closely resembles a television commercial?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There I was, rolling out the pizza dough with
the delighted help of two little girls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then everybody helped with toppings to make their pieces of pizza
exactly as they wanted them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a great
family bonding experience, culminating in a healthy dinner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then the day happened, and I ended up buying pizza at
Costco.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things like that have happened a lot lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When do you make the easy choice and when do
you make the hard one?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not always
clear, which is why we need to pray every day for wisdom.<br />
<br />
Jesus tells us His yoke is easy and His
burden is light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you know what that
means?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If your yoke is hard and your
burden is heavy, maybe you need to walk a little closer with Jesus, ask Him how
to lay it down at the cross, how to focus on what He wants you to do, and how to let the
rest go.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-33801179620106668632016-08-10T18:00:00.000-07:002017-10-12T11:10:55.055-07:00Foster Care: and just like that, I have a fourth child<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m beside the pool at my friend’s house when I get the
call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Standing there in my swimsuit,
counting my kids over and over again to make sure I see happy heads above
water, and I’m listening to a social worker vaguely describe a little girl who
needs a safe home today, and are we interested?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My husband and I have gone back and forth all year as to
whether or not we should be on the foster care call list at all, because of my
health.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve previously fostered three newborn
boys, one of whom stayed with us until his first birthday and will forever be in
my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But all that was awhile back and
since then we’ve pondered whether to do it again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We would love to adopt a little girl at some point, and listening
to the caseworker on the phone, I wondered: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Is
this our opportunity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or would this be
way too much right now?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Long story short, we decided to give it a try and take it
one day at a time, hopeful that it will become increasingly clear whether we
should keep going or turn back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIKTPlSwuMHJL12-a97e5BwUiUdUU6YqZQkerJSxDD3-q-0wb2Re4o8laCyuUePrgLvT0hN5fwMHon7HgoT0fAnKIV4ugw3Zdgw2pgxRR0AgwOg1DFM4YuFsHUIOIKUoqKj_9NGVaqw8/s1600/0810161940.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIKTPlSwuMHJL12-a97e5BwUiUdUU6YqZQkerJSxDD3-q-0wb2Re4o8laCyuUePrgLvT0hN5fwMHon7HgoT0fAnKIV4ugw3Zdgw2pgxRR0AgwOg1DFM4YuFsHUIOIKUoqKj_9NGVaqw8/s400/0810161940.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was only a week ago and we’ve had highs and lows since
then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fostering a child is very
different than fostering a baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some
ways this is easier—no containers of Similac.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No middle-of-the-night feedings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No apnea monitors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But in some ways,
it’s a lot harder, as if we’re trying to build the first story of a house when we
realize there is little to no foundation, and we need to somehow try to piece
that in at the same time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was that moment when I said: “You need to obey,” and
she said: “What does obey mean?” and I thought, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">O Lord, where do I begin?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was that moment when we were saying family prayer at bedtime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had been very excited to contribute her
prayer: “God is grace, God is good, thank you for this food amen” and then she
decided to embellish it to add some sentences of her own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked around the room: “Where is
God?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can He hear us?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There have been so many moments when I see her desperate
need for parenting, and I wonder if that is a need we can and should try to meet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moments when I realize she cannot do the
alphabet puzzle, she has never heard of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Goodnight
Moon</i>, and she is scared if I drop her off somewhere that I will never come
back.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can hope that we could make a forever difference in her
life and that we could see redemption and healing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there have also been moments when I am so overwhelmed I
can’t see to the next minute, and I wonder if this is way too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve decided to put in several weeks and see
if we can get to a good rhythm where we have a workable routine and can see
that this is a healthy situation for everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Beyond that, we don’t know.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t like not knowing where and how this will go, but to
me foster care has always been a lesson in uncertainty and vulnerability, in
trying to do the best thing today and to leave the tomorrows to God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two books I’ve been reading lately have reminded me that
love is not always easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full </i>by
Gloria Furman<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>speaks to how love for
children can be <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">complicating </i>to the
life of a mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love complicates things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What used to be simple, easy, and
straightforward in life is now crazy chaotically complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s part of loving someone.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A Loving Life </i>by
Paul Miller described love as sometimes <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">trapping</i>—that
when we commit ourselves to love another person, there are times when we
genuinely feel trapped.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve given up
an element of our freedom and autonomy to bind ourselves to someone else, and
sometimes that honestly doesn’t feel good.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In context of their entire message, neither of these books
are discouraging love by describing it as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">complicating
</i>and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">trapping</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are being realistic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me, the honesty is refreshing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to follow in the footsteps of Jesus by
living a life of love for other people.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But sometimes I envision that as meaning a life filled with
warm fuzzies, romantic sunsets, good feelings, and happy sighs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s true that all those are part of love,
but the complicated, trapped feelings are, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Love is dying to yourself every day.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-87091749357957772016-08-01T18:28:00.001-07:002017-10-12T11:03:39.551-07:00Chronic Pain Is a Hard Teacher: Six Months of Medical Weirdness<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes I look back and remember January 22<sup>nd</sup>
of this year in a weird “before and after” way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That was the last day I had no pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I walked without thinking about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Like everyone in our area, I was fixated on the upcoming snow storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea what was about to hit my life
when I would wake up the next morning with inexplicable pain in my foot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Six months and more than six doctors later, several medical
tests and lots of dollars later, I am still feeling my way along this weird
journey.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For three months I couldn’t walk without a foot brace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My pain was very public, and I got a lot of
pitying looks and expressions of sympathy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Something about a mom limping along with three little ones in tow gets a
lot of “oh, poor you!” which to be honest was annoying at times and gratifying
at others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After three months my pain changed—my foot, though still
tender, was well enough I put the foot brace away and haven’t worn it
since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time my pain spread
to my knee, upper leg, and hip.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTx8mEUE0LoKshLh6thlJ8HCtdfny6yW20T8YSYk2xfYDjH9NckSumfYDtDjZpGFOIJ2jj-Gw6JAcQwoKg419J65NtVE6j5yUqaFd9xoyOQiHsADxZOusu0S8vpmgftR0_WgNwAE-Wjic/s1600/13595561_10208607297192881_723093397_n+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTx8mEUE0LoKshLh6thlJ8HCtdfny6yW20T8YSYk2xfYDjH9NckSumfYDtDjZpGFOIJ2jj-Gw6JAcQwoKg419J65NtVE6j5yUqaFd9xoyOQiHsADxZOusu0S8vpmgftR0_WgNwAE-Wjic/s400/13595561_10208607297192881_723093397_n+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These last three months have been particularly hard for me
emotionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never experienced
chronic pain before, and it’s hard to put into words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On a scale of 1 to 10 it hovers around a 1,
2, or 3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it’s not agonizing, and I’m
okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s always bearable, but it’s
always there—like white noise in the background was how someone aptly described
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Static on the radio but you can
still make out the song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An alarm
beeping “pain, pain, pain” in my brain as the accompaniment to whatever else I
am trying to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without the foot brace,
you can’t tell from looking at me that anything is wrong, but I feel that wrongness
constantly inside me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chronic pain is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sharpening</i>
in both good and bad ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I get tired
more easily and I get short-tempered and sharp with people and need to go back
and apologize.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I feel as if chronic
pain has sharpened my perspective, too—everything is a bit clearer and starker
to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have all my former fears
and insecurities; I’m not trying to come across like someone who has it all together;
I’m not devastated by rejection; I don’t have time and energy for all of it so
I’m trying to focus on the essentials.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel the loss of the identity I had—qualities I attributed
to my personality that were actually just my privilege, qualities like being
fit, being energetic, walking fast, working out, feeling great, being
healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those used to define me, and
they don’t anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of being my
ambitious, bouncy, thirty-something self, I feel as if someone attached a
ninety-year-old leg to my body, and I’m thinking things like, “Can we just sit
down now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whoa, walking down this hill
is rough!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, my hip.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Really?</i>
I tell myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is you?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am most depressed by the uncertainty—if someone could tell
me for sure if and when I would feel better, I could handle that and work
toward that goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thought that I
might live the rest of my earthly life in pain is wearying to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other people assure me this will not be the
case, but after plateauing for three months, I don’t feel that assurance; I
just try to believe it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The weirdness drives me crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ve been reading this blog post and
thinking, “What is wrong with her?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What
happened?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I miss something?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Believe me, I’ve been asking those same
questions, too, and I’ve been learning the hard way that even really good
doctors can’t always give definitive answers and don’t have magical fixes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyone’s best guess is that all of this was caused by Lyme,
since the other tests have all come back clear, but no one really knows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lyme is weird, and my symptoms are definitely
weird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each day is different and
unexpected—pain in different areas to different degrees at different times, in
what appears to have no rational pattern or predictability.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m grateful that so many of my symptoms are
objectively verifiable by others; otherwise I think I would be going insane.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How I will feel tomorrow is always uncertain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Going through the credit card bill is never my favorite
activity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But this last month going
through the bill I felt so discouraged by how expensive my health care has
been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Prescriptions, supplements, copays—it
all adds up to figures I don’t want to be spending on my health; I want to be putting
those toward my family and toward fun things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I would feel better if I knew the things we were spending money on were
working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just try our best with the information we
have.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiapb6AJ7H_NWKORwtT4sTBIepx7W2iGow_WC80ZPIkF75SAW1vG8ehPI1n64AmLNLf6qrNIYnfxDgHYU_8tq8c7z33b7QKCdE_FKkjh7JCKjg3k3b0KM7RBt2mF4SVdqw9PXW2N6f7M6I/s1600/13900277_654424678041522_2809655408261012941_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiapb6AJ7H_NWKORwtT4sTBIepx7W2iGow_WC80ZPIkF75SAW1vG8ehPI1n64AmLNLf6qrNIYnfxDgHYU_8tq8c7z33b7QKCdE_FKkjh7JCKjg3k3b0KM7RBt2mF4SVdqw9PXW2N6f7M6I/s400/13900277_654424678041522_2809655408261012941_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So these are the circumstances I’m sitting in right now—and still
having a hard time believing this is my life—what happened?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the frame I’m trying to put around
the picture of Truth, the context I’m reading the Bible in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know why God said yes to allowing
this in my life, but I do know it is chiseling away at who I am and giving me a
harsh reality in which to see and apply truth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A friend encouraged me to read Romans 5:3-5:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="selected"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Not
only that, but we </i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rejoice
in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, <span id="v45005004-1">and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, <span id="v45005005-1">and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been
poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”</span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I wrote my own paraphrase:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I rejoice in my Lyme—the
pain, the uncertainty, the weirdness, the expense—because I know this is producing
in me the ability to last through difficulty without quitting—I know that this staying
power is molding my character—and that character is helping me hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not going to be ashamed or
disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Holy Spirit is the
pitcher given to me, pouring God’s love into my heart.”</i><br />
<br />
I’m not going to minimize how it feels to push yourself
through the motions of caring for your children when your body is screaming “no”—how
dark physical depression can be when you stare blankly at a Bible verse about
hope and wonder why it’s not registering—when all you can think is “How long, O
Lord?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Will You forget me forever?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If Truth isn’t true in the middle of pain, it is never
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we have to walk through
the dark to test what we really believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What does it feel like for God’s love to be poured into your heart on
the day of unanswered prayers?</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-2733562018058062652016-07-22T10:51:00.001-07:002017-10-12T11:05:20.342-07:00Summer Reading, Part 2<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been enjoying several books over the last month, thanks
to a little more reading time on vacation and in the evening, and thanks to my
friend Elizabeth for loaning me several of her favorites. (Here is <a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2016/06/summer-reading-part-1.html">Summer Reading, Part 1</a> if you missed it.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirviT-mN12LOVsl38fn8Xv2Lco9f_6VCdq1jfciDHY_AIADbXcKfGkLoDgAHBBkJV4I1gq6xW_is-dWgg-pE0nYNEDJWQNMLT-bS6BwNFhroqScJaOp_L1JxYt22hayMF9WDOoSczWUxw/s1600/0722161344.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirviT-mN12LOVsl38fn8Xv2Lco9f_6VCdq1jfciDHY_AIADbXcKfGkLoDgAHBBkJV4I1gq6xW_is-dWgg-pE0nYNEDJWQNMLT-bS6BwNFhroqScJaOp_L1JxYt22hayMF9WDOoSczWUxw/s400/0722161344.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full</i> by Gloria Furman</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would highly recommend this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The author takes the Gospel—doctrines we know
in our minds to be true, but what can sometimes seem so ethereal and out of
reach—and connects it to the daily mess of life as a mom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a book to read slowly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not light or easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of the paragraphs are direct
paraphrases of Paul’s epistles, applied to Mom life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each chapter is packed with lots of Bible
references.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So though it could maybe be a
criticism that it’s not easily accessible, I found that if I read about ten or
fifteen minutes a day, slowly and thoughtfully, with pen in hand to underline,
I got a lot out of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was like water
to my thirsty soul.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>Vinegar Girl</i> by Anne Tyler</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The feminist in me has never liked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Taming of the Shrew</i>, but this retelling of the story I actually
enjoyed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is humorous, light reading,
with a thoughtful undercurrent, exploring how “the shrew” got to be how she is,
and how she changes through an improbable marriage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>Secrets of a Charmed Life</i> by Susan Meissner</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I enjoyed <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fall of
Marigolds </i>a few months ago, and once again, Susan Meissner does not
disappoint.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a WWII novel about
two sisters separated during the London Blitz. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like a couple of the plot twists were a
little unrealistic, but all in all, this is an engaging story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has rich character development—you really
feel like you get to know a nuanced cast of characters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And she draws you into the historical setting
so that it seems real and current.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
read this one over our camping trip and was so engrossed I couldn’t nap despite
how tired I was!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>The Awakening of Miss Prim</i> by Natalia Sanmartin Fenollera</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
G. K. Chesterton meets Jane
Austen?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, please!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This novel is both pleasant light reading and
intensely thought-provoking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m wanting
to re-read it and copy over my favorite quotations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="a-size-small">That said, it reminded me a little
of Wendell Berry’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hannah Coulter</i>, a
novel that I felt was heavier on the philosophy than it was on the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was definitely a story that was trying
to make a point—and though I agreed with the point, I found myself a little
skeptical of the storyline at times.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="a-size-small">I also couldn’t quite get over a
character named Prudencia Prim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still,
this is a book I would highly recommend.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>Windfallen </i>by JoJo Moyes</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is one of JoJo Moyes’s earlier novels, and not my
favorite by her, but I still enjoyed it and was happily surprised by an ending
that was more pro-marriage than I had anticipated. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think JoJo Moyes specializes in creating
relatable, sympathetic characters and putting them in interesting predicaments.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also always connect my memories of a book with my
circumstances while reading it, and I can’t help but remember that I read this
book mostly in the bathtub with Epsom salts and a calming essential blends,
soaking the pain and the stress of the day away … so really, what’s not to
love?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>After You</i> by JoJo Moyes</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the sequel to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me
Before You</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciated that novel
and am cautiously looking forward to the movie, and hoping they don’t make it into
a political statement that the book never was.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sequel was okay. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It showed the messy aftermath of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Me Before You </i>and the eventual character
growth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt a little impatient with
the protagonist and at times my sympathy for her was a bit stretched.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she goes through a dark cloud and comes
out the other side, even though it takes her awhile getting there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<i>The Kitchen House</i> by Kathleen Grissom</h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is another richly detailed novel highlighting the
plight of slaves in the antebellum South.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What is unique about this book is that it also captures the story of an
indentured Irish servant girl, who is equal to the slaves except for
the distinction of her whiteness, which ultimately makes all the difference in
her future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her life story bridges the
gap between the plantation owner’s family and the slaves who serve them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the author’s first novel after a significant amount
of research, and it seems just as authentic as if you are reading from a
history book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was struck by the amount
of loss the female characters of both races endured, as the men who owned them
made decisions with little thought to the personal consequences.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This book begins during George Washington’s Presidency, and
it reminds me once again that the era of the Founding Fathers was not as
beautiful as it sometimes appears through the rosy glasses of hindsight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d rather live in 2016 Virginia than in 1816
Virginia, despite how troubling our times are.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So that’s been my reading over the last several weeks—what about
you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any titles you would recommend?</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-74461456392501454172016-07-08T11:33:00.002-07:002017-10-12T11:11:12.967-07:00When Stress Calls Your Name: Sanity Tips for Mommas, Part 2<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<div class="MsoNormal">
In <a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2016/06/when-stress-calls-your-name-sanity-tips.html">part 1 of this blog post</a>, I wrote about my struggle a few years ago with
insomnia and anxiety, a rough season that showed me my need to
create healthy habits in my life, essentially to keep myself from falling to
pieces.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’ll be honest with you that right now is another rough
season in my life, when I’m fighting Lyme and facing health challenges I would
not have imagined a year ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a
seven-year-old tender-hearted, Minecraft-playing, Bionicle-building,
Ninja-weapon-constructing voracious book learner, currently sitting on the
couch deep in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Geronimo Stilton </i>series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a four-year-old impassioned
princess-loving wild child, who I currently hear clattering her Cinderella
Duplos around in her bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a
1-year-old toilet-opening, cupboard-emptying, stair-climbing, always hungry, rarely
quiet explorer, who is napping and that’s the only reason I’m sitting down
typing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA5bA8ZEnUoB_6TxTOZ88W6H78VXnho6Ga-D1o9jnd_2Z6B05qE3tOjztpQWND7sl0g2AA_8cB8ST-uykCkcErvMU_M6qyaweYVsbZKEIrDuei363CPFyEKkDNtCeUxAnHIhnMnpO0-S4/s1600/0623161203a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA5bA8ZEnUoB_6TxTOZ88W6H78VXnho6Ga-D1o9jnd_2Z6B05qE3tOjztpQWND7sl0g2AA_8cB8ST-uykCkcErvMU_M6qyaweYVsbZKEIrDuei363CPFyEKkDNtCeUxAnHIhnMnpO0-S4/s400/0623161203a.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Staying sane is definitely a project in my life right
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2016/06/when-stress-calls-your-name-sanity-tips.html">Last post I talked about having white space on the calendar, learning to manage or eliminate your triggers, and pursuing what feeds your soul</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This time around I want to talk about the habits I’ve built
into my daily life routine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs0jW921tvHj-q1qTndbMEz2y5CCMh-QSphdAytsUOUL7BtFqoXyOACwSe1q6BmP5x2QGJPSyFnvEsxZ8LlnS12E7SvpQ5C0a2DcCd-E3B51ZouhPagnj22s72rGArB__UKFygAyZ4wtw/s1600/0623161204.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs0jW921tvHj-q1qTndbMEz2y5CCMh-QSphdAytsUOUL7BtFqoXyOACwSe1q6BmP5x2QGJPSyFnvEsxZ8LlnS12E7SvpQ5C0a2DcCd-E3B51ZouhPagnj22s72rGArB__UKFygAyZ4wtw/s400/0623161204.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Rest in the evening</span></h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of my decision to pursue sanity and wellness as a mom
has to do with how I spend my time after my kids go to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Insomnia taught me that I can’t flat-out work
until bedtime and expect to fall right to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also can’t sit endlessly surfing Netflix or
Facebook because it’s more comfortable than getting up and getting in bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need time to unwind, and I need to get to
bed on time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So right now, I try not to work after my kids go to
bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s time for me to read or to
spend time with my husband.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try to
deliberately choose activities that help me unwind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surfing the Internet or scrolling down my Facebook
Newsfeed or answering emails doesn’t count.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I try to plan ahead so that I can shut down my computer when my kids
go to bed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(If this would be an unrealistic goal for you, I would
encourage you to at least set a computer shut-down time so you’re not glued to
the screen later than you intended.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s also my goal to get eight hours of sleep a night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course there are seasons, like with a
newborn, when getting a good sleep may be impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve done my fair share of middle-of-the-night
breastfeeding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been woken by
children screaming and peeing and throwing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’ve been woken by apnea monitors alerting me that a vulnerable child in
my care may have stopped breathing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I
get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone has a bad night here
and there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there are whole seasons
when it’s all about surviving on the little sleep you do get.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">But all in all, on a
regular basis, Moms should not be underslept.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I did just write that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hear me out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your children should
be sleeping at least eight hours a night, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So sleep when they sleep! A lot of this is
just having the discipline to turn in at the right time, and not stay up late
trying to do all . the . things, or stay glued to your computer or television
screen because it’s so much more comfortable than getting up and walking to
bed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If your sleep is interrupted, aim for more than eight
hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was one season in my life
when I was pregnant and caring for a premature baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the kids fell asleep around 8:30, and I
went to bed immediately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I slept from
8:30 to 6:30.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s ten hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That affords me two hours of baby care and
still a good night’s sleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You do not have to be running around exhausted as a general
rule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can make sleep a priority.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAIwAsdWdFQjBluRz9TgJpFJOM3oZiUBBC8wOShRyoVGyEkZWzFqAdeCLQuvdD_3TaAkaZaK4KRZt1UTfY8nVH7VVnjeHxxF8AAtC61RfI6GyePtZ6VJDLz1pgZaqRa6dwwQd3cHLXps/s1600/0623161203b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAIwAsdWdFQjBluRz9TgJpFJOM3oZiUBBC8wOShRyoVGyEkZWzFqAdeCLQuvdD_3TaAkaZaK4KRZt1UTfY8nVH7VVnjeHxxF8AAtC61RfI6GyePtZ6VJDLz1pgZaqRa6dwwQd3cHLXps/s400/0623161203b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Get a good start</span></h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This goes hand in hand with getting to bed at a good
time—waking up before your kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hate
starting the day feeling like I’m already behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My goal is to wake up 90 minutes before my
kids do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That gives me 30 minutes to
take my medicine and exercise, 30 minutes to shower, 30 minutes to read my
Bible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s my goal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course it doesn’t always happen; this is real life we’re
talking about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right now I’m probably at
a 50% rate of success.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I try to have a two-fold approach: 1) have a good plan, and
2) smile and try to be okay with it when the good plan is turned upside-down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m feeling a little conspicuous right now
because my husband is going to read this and smile because he knows how often
my mornings fall apart, and he also knows how indebted I am to him for his
help!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3zCpFNcWkMWewQ-KlvFQa3Aiysr4oRUhenul5BAzBtdqyJjibj7HWrYYKawjGeK6DjwrGKM8bh2Q58mxbAqK1xwhtpjNrFsefbwBTUuYervD4HOOFFCjyVOh7kE5_ywObLiBSRhXf2NI/s1600/0623161203c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3zCpFNcWkMWewQ-KlvFQa3Aiysr4oRUhenul5BAzBtdqyJjibj7HWrYYKawjGeK6DjwrGKM8bh2Q58mxbAqK1xwhtpjNrFsefbwBTUuYervD4HOOFFCjyVOh7kE5_ywObLiBSRhXf2NI/s400/0623161203c.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Don't you love our awkward, post-swimming-lesson selfies?</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Keep quiet hours</span></h2>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Being a mom of little ones can feel like working 12 or 16
hour shifts (maybe more, if you have middle-of-the-night duty), seven days a
week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is exhausting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my survival strategies is to aim for one or two hours
of quiet time in the early afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Again, that’s my ideal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was
the season when it seemed like my baby was napping at every time <i>except </i>the
early afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These days I often have
physical therapist appointments in the early afternoon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But whenever I can, after lunch means we all get a
rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My youngest naps, and my older two
either watch a movie or have quiet play time with audio books (separately,
because quiet doesn’t happen together these days).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is healthy for my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s also what I need to recharge from a
crazy morning and be ready to jump into the late afternoon and evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m a huge fan of twenty-minute power
naps.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quiet time is also when I make
grocery lists, plan the schedule, write blog posts, do teaching work, read
books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I’m not necessarily resting—I
get a lot done—but it is quiet, focusing work, and it restores me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So these are my sanity safeguards, the routines I put in
place to help me try to stay emotionally healthy in a demanding season of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Resting in the evening and getting to bed on
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Waking up in the morning and getting a
good start before my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keeping
afternoon quiet hours.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And speaking of quiet hours, the ones today are ending and
it’s back to the craziness!</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-29764897099500697942016-06-29T11:55:00.002-07:002017-10-12T11:11:12.963-07:00When Stress Calls Your Name: Sanity Tips for Mommas, Part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->I remember lying in bed, staring at the wall, wondering, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Am I going insane?</i>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It wasn’t just a frustrated moment of throwing up my hands
and yelling at the kids, “I am going to lose my mind!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a quietly creeping fear that from here
I was just going to circle the drain into further confusion and chaos.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My second child was a baby, and for several months I had
debilitating insomnia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was stuck in an
awful cycle where my anxiety and OCD were keeping me awake, and my mind-numbing
exhaustion was aggravating my anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was hardly functioning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life seemed
hopelessly shallow, and I was going through the motions just trying to survive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Up until that season, I didn’t have a category in my life
for self-care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to please
people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew how to work hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tended to pack my schedule full, and when
life got hard, I just pushed harder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But that season was, literally and figuratively, my wake-up
call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pushing harder and doing more,
more, more was no longer an option for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I was going to stay sane as a mom, and be there for my family the way
I wanted to be, I needed to make changes in my life to minimize and better deal
with stress.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQs8Fre5SIGXAAb0XRda0QJXxQQH9TmlP1cbaBoEjXXsES_QWLh_w4awiUOUcsl8fvia32zd3_mYYgXzElHdriByZW71I-xcidrzr5AtpDX81Sk-w1yxj1fn_ig_J8rTjGix4tHq9SYM/s1600/0512161047.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpQs8Fre5SIGXAAb0XRda0QJXxQQH9TmlP1cbaBoEjXXsES_QWLh_w4awiUOUcsl8fvia32zd3_mYYgXzElHdriByZW71I-xcidrzr5AtpDX81Sk-w1yxj1fn_ig_J8rTjGix4tHq9SYM/s400/0512161047.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was a little over three years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since then I’ve developed practices that have
helped me be in a healthier place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These
practices aren’t for everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know
I’m vulnerable in areas where some people are not, so I need to put up
safeguards for myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may be
perfectly okay burning the candle at both ends, whereas I would be a hot mess,
wax melting all over the place, house on fire, kind of mess.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I think all of us, to more or less extent, need practices
in our lives to help us deal with stress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These are mine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">White space on the calendar</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to pack my schedule full.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember one day when my oldest was a
toddler, and I had a social event in the morning, another in the afternoon, and
another in the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This might have
been okay except that I’m an introvert (an introvert caring for a toddler, no
less) and I had given myself no downtime to recharge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember prepping for the evening event
when I just wanted to go to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking
back, I think, why was I doing that to myself?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And to the people I was hanging out with?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was the point of going through life
exhausted and dreading the next event?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I once invited over a mother of several young children, who
responded, “We can’t come that morning because we have something scheduled for
the evening.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What? </i>I
thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m not inviting you for the evening.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m asking about the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>Then
I realized that she knew her limits, and in the stressful season she was
already in with multiple young children, she was only scheduling one thing per
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was perfectly comfortable
saying no to whatever wasn’t best for her and her kids.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve learned that some of my favorite moments in life are
when we have nothing going on and are just resting at home as a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moments when we pull out a board game on the
dining room table, when I sit on the deck reading a novel, when I get down on
the floor to play with my kids, when we spontaneously take a walk together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If these are my favorite moments, why am I frenetically
filling the schedule so that we hardly ever have them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What is this game—whoever has the busiest
schedule wins?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I quit!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been learning to make white space on the calendar, and
to plan each thing in the context of everything else—meaning that if we already
have plans for Friday morning, maybe I shouldn’t make plans for Friday
afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If all our weekday evenings
are busy, we absolutely must be home on Saturday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You might be in a season of life where you can fill your
calendar to the max and it’s pure joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
so, that’s great!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if you’re in a
season similar to mine—an introvert, I’m dealing with some health issues, and I
have little children in difficult seasons—practice saying no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Protect your calendar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Create some space to for you and your family
to breathe.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxrXvXuiV80AqCQw_PTBwXFGsqw2d2QEaDk44YmtUwmOBunrbuo56spuN8oIBSsCAVNIxM67i-dGoMR4d65jJ9lXVFcW0M285Q-p2hEbgcjS6SEtiYVGUVLhyP8Z9XEmQlNAd8pmFL0cc/s1600/0512161639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxrXvXuiV80AqCQw_PTBwXFGsqw2d2QEaDk44YmtUwmOBunrbuo56spuN8oIBSsCAVNIxM67i-dGoMR4d65jJ9lXVFcW0M285Q-p2hEbgcjS6SEtiYVGUVLhyP8Z9XEmQlNAd8pmFL0cc/s400/0512161639.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What are your triggers?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What causes stress in your life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may already know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or you may need to make a list and ask for
input from those who know you well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then
look through your list of triggers, and find a way to either <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">manage </i>or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eliminate </i>each one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The idea is this—if you are already in a stressful season
doing what God has called you to (whether that’s building your marriage,
raising young children, working your job)—your plate is already full.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t pile on stresses that you don’t need to
handle and that keep you from the essential things only you can do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which stresses can you eliminate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, if watching the news causes you
stress, stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one is paying you to do
it, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world doesn’t need you to
do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s not helping you help
people, stop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll make it personal—I keep returning to the point where I
need to stop, at least for now and maybe forever, reading articles about
Trump.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m just done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve already made up my mind I’m not going to
vote for him, and reading the recent news about him never makes me think, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Wow, I’m so refreshed right now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really feel ready to deal with my kids
after reading that.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The same applies for reading about crime and other violent
news stories. There is a delicate balance here—I don’t want to have my head in
the sand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I paid some attention to what
happened in Orlando.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to be aware
of what’s going on in the world so that I can respond with wisdom and
compassion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, we live in
a time of greater global awareness than ever before, where we can read up on
the atrocities of ISIS, for instance, yet at the same time it’s easy to ignore
the difference we can make in the sphere of influence we do have.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Secondary traumatic
stress </i>occurs when you experience stress by hearing about the firsthand
trauma experienced by another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
recently at a foster care event, sitting in a room filled with foster parents
who are pouring out their lives to help neglected and abused children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The speaker asked how many of us daily watch
the news, and the response was startling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hardly any hands went up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
people in that room were so busy with the ministry right in front of their
faces, that they were already in as much stress as they could handle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any triggers they could eliminate had to go.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some triggers you can’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">eliminate</i>
and you just have to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">manage</i>—for
instance, the screaming tantrums of your toddler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s no way you can run from it, and you
just have to have a game plan for how you’re going to deal with it in the
moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How are you going to keep your
cool?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How are you going to help your
child get through this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How are you
going to plan times when you can get a break so you can jump back into
parenting with a new perspective?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifUXmZMuXKCpQ7atUs2Eymb3BL7RK5yutCmQYcq0H6LB9UutDrbPnNQqRlf7qbSu4fC21NHvSAo0ZwovLUS_a-c05Y-YmrA02pfLVvvHoWM4YqJih6e_TwF52yBtj5BSre8m0aH1NDSmU/s1600/0602162051.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifUXmZMuXKCpQ7atUs2Eymb3BL7RK5yutCmQYcq0H6LB9UutDrbPnNQqRlf7qbSu4fC21NHvSAo0ZwovLUS_a-c05Y-YmrA02pfLVvvHoWM4YqJih6e_TwF52yBtj5BSre8m0aH1NDSmU/s400/0602162051.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What feeds your soul?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the flip side of the coin—after you have a plan to
eliminate or manage the stress in your life, think through the things that feed
you, that make you feel alive, that refresh you and fill you up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s my partial list:</div>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Reading the Bible and praying</li>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Reading other good books</li>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Having meaningful conversation with friends
(1-on-1 or in small groups—I’m an introvert!)</li>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Sitting quietly on the deck</li>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Listening to worship music</li>
<li>Writing blog posts</li>
<li><span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"></span></span></span>Teaching</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Staying sane in my life right now means prioritizing these
things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it’s a simple choice
that after the kids go to bed, I’m going to turn off Facebook (potentially a
trigger) and go sit on the deck, and for ten minutes breathe deeply and watch
the sunset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes the only way to
prioritize these things is to have a strategy—to plan ahead and to ask for help
from my husband or others so I can make time to be emotionally healthy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s a balance—the hard truth is, what feeds my soul
often (though not always) happens away from my kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course I don’t want to be the absent mom
too busy pursuing my own dreams to be available for my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s also true that I’m a better mom to
them when I take the time and space to nourish myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s part 1 of my healthy practices and I’m going to cut
it off there—part 2 will follow Lord willing in a few days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are your strategies for staying sane in
the middle of whatever craziness is your life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please share! </div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-36677217957776022082016-06-19T11:39:00.001-07:002017-10-12T11:05:20.350-07:00Summer Reading, Part 1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]-->I never got to a “Books I Read in May,” but here’s a look at
the highlights I’ve read over the last several weeks.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2Ab1XM911izp1QdrFb21Gi23DchcHFjFoBJ1NeNMtv_q68l1LoRi3RzI3b8YQnKpJomzgXJ8547K_I94S7jeEt0RMAEzP_F5RYlFY4umIYlxBICqEXuz7k20RfkerpmdFcuR_mcNhp8/s1600/0619161434.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv2Ab1XM911izp1QdrFb21Gi23DchcHFjFoBJ1NeNMtv_q68l1LoRi3RzI3b8YQnKpJomzgXJ8547K_I94S7jeEt0RMAEzP_F5RYlFY4umIYlxBICqEXuz7k20RfkerpmdFcuR_mcNhp8/s400/0619161434.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Sound of Gravel</i> by Ruth Wariner</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This one’s not an easy or encouraging read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a memoir of someone who grew up in a
Mormon cult, where she witnessed abuse of all kinds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a true story, and a look into how a
woman can fall prey to a cult and tolerate abuse in her drive to try to meet
her emotional needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eye-opening story,
and ends with hope.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>A Fall of Marigolds</i> by Susan Meissner</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve already found that I enjoy historical fiction focusing
on immigration to America, and this book was another great read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The characters were sympathetic and the plot
engrossing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guessed early on that this
book was thoughtful and realistic enough that the ending was not going to be a
predictable, and it wasn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s
romance in the story, but more than that, it’s about a woman healing from a
tragedy and coming into her own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two stories are told in parallel—an Ellis Island nurse
recovering from the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, and a modern-day woman
healing from the trauma of 9/11.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My only complaint about this book was that the themes of
love and truth were a little murky, as if neither the author nor the characters
had clarified their worldview of life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But it’s a novel, not a sermon, so I’ll let it pass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Paris Architect</i> by Charles Belfoure</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I really enjoy WWII fiction, so I was looking forward to this
novel about a Paris architect who helps hide Jews during the Nazi
invasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He begins motivated simply by
a desire for money and the thrill of tricking the enemy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a fascinating story about how different characters
develop under pressure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The author has a
dry, almost cynical humor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There’s description
of torture and of extramarital affairs, as well as a fair bit of language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Few of the characters are very sympathetic. It’s
definitely not a book I’ll be going back to, but it’s one of those stories
where the insights into history and human nature may outweigh what is
inappropriate in the story.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Scary Close</i> by Donald Miller</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is the first Donald Miller I’ve read, and to me, he’s
kind of like Brene Brown for Dummies—meaning he echoes a lot of her ideas about
vulnerability and emotional wellness, but he does it in an extremely accessible
and narrative-style writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Reading over
that sentence it sounds like a criticism, but I mean it as a compliment—I really
like Brene Brown, and I like how Donald Miller was such an easy read.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really appreciated his thesis—that our true
self can put up a false construct that is meant to impress people, but in
reality keeps them at arm’s length.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
can only achieve intimacy with other people by being our true selves and taking
the risk of being vulnerable.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be honest, I thought some of his writing style was a
little weak, and there are some things I don’t agree with him about, but all in
all I thought this was a great book, and helpful for someone like me who
struggles with vulnerability and developing friendships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also got the feeling reading the book that he
and his wife would be great people to get to know in real life—authentic and
kind.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Beatrice and Benedick</i> by Marina Fiorato</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of the books I read are recommended by friends on
Goodreads, but this one I spotted at the library and picked up with no prior
recommendation whatsoever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This made me
a little hesitant and I was ready to put it down if it turned into a steamy
romance or turned Shakespeare on its head.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But ultimately, I really loved this book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was set director for my college’s
production of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Much Ado About Nothing</i>,
and the rich description of this novel brought back to me our color and design
choices for that performance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the
characters well, and I felt that the author of this book (a Shakespeare scholar
herself) really captured the true characterization of both Beatrice and
Benedick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her novel also developed the
themes I see in the play—the gender issues at work, and the contrast between
true and superficial relationships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Most of this novel focuses on what happens before the play
actually begins, though the story of the play is told nearer the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This novel also brings in some of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Romeo and Juliet</i>, as well the events of
the Spanish Armada.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a truly
fascinating historical fiction book, and I’m really glad I read it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<i>
</i><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Dignity and Worth: Seeing the Image of God in Foster
Adoption</i> by April Swiger</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got this book free on Kindle and excitedly delved into
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like it strengthened my
Christian understanding of how foster care and adoption fits into our worldview—our
understanding of God and of how He created people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book was also full of practical advice
on topics like responding to birth parents, avoiding adoption scams, adopting
interracially, and respecting confidentiality.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would highly recommend this book for any Christian, so
that we can all together be more supportive of foster and adoptive families
among us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I would especially
recommend it for any Christian who wants to foster and adopt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This author struck such a chord with me (we have fostered
three times, one placement being a baby boy whom we wanted to adopt but lost a
week after his first birthday).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really
wished I could sit down with her over coffee, so I did the next best thing—found her <a href="http://aprilswiger.com/">blog</a> and emailed
her—and got a long message back!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which made
me really happy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Be Frank with Me</i> by Julia Claiborne Johnson</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This novel explores the question: how does caring for a child
change you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The twenty-something main
character takes on the care of a ten-year-old special-needs boy so that his
mother can write a book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I almost quit
this book part-way through because the conversations were long and a bit
boring, and I didn’t sympathize with any of the characters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I felt like the story improved as I became attached to
the child character and saw how caring for him really could be a life-changing
experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ending was a bit blah,
though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good, but not a favorite.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>The Art of Mending</i> by Elizabeth Berg</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This novel tackles a difficult topic—how adult children
address abuse in their past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The story
is beautifully told, and the author is sensitive and sympathetic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t find the ending completely
satisfactory, but I would still recommend it as an interesting read, especially
for those who like novels about family relationships and appreciate stories
that aren’t necessarily straightforward, but more nuanced and complicated.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Openness Unhindered</i> by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is a great book for anyone (all of us!) who are
pondering the Christian response to the LGBTQ movement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rosaria tells her story as a former lesbian
who converted to Christianity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’s an
English Ph.D. and a Reformed Presbyterian and you can sure tell both—oh, my
goodness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is a deep thinker and not
afraid to tackle and explore the toughest issues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The book is a bit heavy and reads at times
like a college textbook—not a bad thing, but a lot to think through on a late
night after a busy day with little kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I’ll be honest that I skipped over some of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish her writing was more accessible and narrative-style so
that she would have a larger audience, because she has great things to
say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But she’s also an awesome example
of a Christian female intellectual scholar, and I think we only need more of
those!</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-21799550632528482912016-05-27T18:24:00.001-07:002017-10-12T11:24:53.833-07:00The Goddess in My Living Room: Rethinking My Expectations About Health<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I became a mom, a crib entered my home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A changing table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A rocking chair and a boppy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And a Goddess in my living room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Goddess of Health.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://66.media.tumblr.com/4c9dd0effa684369e6ed7041edc7366e/tumblr_inline_nfuxdzcQKA1riiuei.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://66.media.tumblr.com/4c9dd0effa684369e6ed7041edc7366e/tumblr_inline_nfuxdzcQKA1riiuei.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Up until that time, she had not been very important to
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I drank soda, I ate what I wanted, I
exercised sporadically, I stayed amazingly thin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But now that I was responsible for a little
person, the Goddess of Health had space in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted very much to please her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to win her favor for the sake of my
little son.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And others assured me that if I followed her rules, I could
expect her blessing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At first it wasn’t hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I took my vitamins and made a few dietary changes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When it was time for my son to start solid
foods, I followed a specific schedule.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
started looking at ingredients before I put food in my shopping cart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
High fructose corn syrup displeased her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So did anything artificial.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And for my sacrifices, she rewarded me with a
healthy little boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely worth the
effort.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then her rules became more complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things that used to be okay weren’t okay
anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the packaged food was
advertised as healthy—but what was really healthy was just to make my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Organic was better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More fruits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More vegetables.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then her rules became confusing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was grinding my own wheat to make bread
really healthy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, that wasn’t enough,
because what if the wheat was GMO?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
should I even be eating wheat at all?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Wasn’t paleo better?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When any of us got sick, which was not very often, I learned
what sacrifices would earn her favor back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More vitamins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More herbs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was particularly fond of garlic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then she started requiring essential oils.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All this was getting expensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But my son, and now a daughter, too, were
healthy, so it was worth it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One winter I wrote a blog post about keeping your kids from
getting sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was full of great ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I followed them all, I would appease the
Goddess of Health, who would then keep sickness far from my home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That winter it worked so well for me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next year I <a href="http://wordsmomentsgifts.blogspot.com/2015/01/helping-your-kids-stay-healthy-this.html">reposted the article</a>—I think I added a few new
rules I had learned in the interim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
then my kids got sick.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not badly sick, thankfully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was no fear, just a whole lot of crazy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They got the stomach bug that would not go
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For almost eight weeks, it seemed
like someone in the house was always throwing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We no longer went anywhere together, because
someone needed to stay home with whichever child was sick right then.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFKmgYVNS8-yrNSuDkhjbLVlRj49UU6HrhXfgpgtKUNokd0swu8r4kQXdQ15T9cWq7G8H6VP4EQJb2bCUPr1CGYoOqNwN7-KtkRbX6KzGxQVZ1Wk5DLBlYViS9yI2PGp2BqkgTqyo7nEo/s1600/IMG_20150118_203829329+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFKmgYVNS8-yrNSuDkhjbLVlRj49UU6HrhXfgpgtKUNokd0swu8r4kQXdQ15T9cWq7G8H6VP4EQJb2bCUPr1CGYoOqNwN7-KtkRbX6KzGxQVZ1Wk5DLBlYViS9yI2PGp2BqkgTqyo7nEo/s400/IMG_20150118_203829329+%25282%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I posted my complaints on Facebook and got a lot of advice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could I win the Goddess’s favor back so
she would heal my children?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Probiotics, someone said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I was already doing it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Essential oils, someone else recommended.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ginger?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Peppermint?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Special immune
blends?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was already doing it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Someone recommended that I sacrifice to the Goddess all
dairy and sugar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to take it with
a smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They must not know how good our
diet already was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had sacrificed
already!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She should be happy!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I was becoming resentful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That Goddess of Health?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was mad at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was mad because I had done her thing, I had followed her
rules, I had bought her stuff.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when
it got harder, I had stayed the course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And when it got confusing, I had kept researching and tried to find amidst
the conflicting voices online what would really make her happy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had done everything right!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I had held up my end of the deal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And she had not blessed me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I
didn’t have time to take it up with her because one of my kids was puking in
the hallway.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was my anger that made me realize I had that Goddess in
the living room.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was my resentment that showed me that when I followed her
rules, I had expected her blessing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
had earned good health, and I was not happy that she had not come through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why was judgment coming?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hadn’t I appeased her with all my sacrifices?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took me a few weeks of vomit to realize the Goddess had
to go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For one thing, she wasn’t
working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was tired of following her
rules when the guaranteed results hadn’t happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This didn’t mean we would spend the rest of our lives eating
at McDonalds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew that a lot—maybe even
all—of what I had been doing made sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wanted to care well for myself and my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to do what I could to help us be
healthy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I no longer felt that I’d earned it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I no longer believed that everything had a
clear cause and effect and that if we did enough right things, we would be
healthy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we live in a broken, fallen, twisted world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter what we do, our bodies are
deteriorating, and ultimately, health fails us all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realized following the Goddess of Health had caused me to
judge others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are they sick all the time because they’re not eating well?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s true that actions have consequences, and that healthy
choices truly help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s also true
that sometimes those who make the healthiest choices get really sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we don’t know why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I reminded myself of all this when my son got a cavity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I felt like taking it up with the Goddess of
Health again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(We hardly eat any
sugar!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We brush his teeth twice a
day!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">With
homemade toothpaste!</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And other
people are saying they never get a cavity when they follow all these rules, so
why, why us?)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This whole blog post has actually been in my mind for
several months, before 2016 ever happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And I am glad I threw out the Goddess before this year began.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started 2016 all excited about being healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was going to drop that baby weight and
fight back that anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I jumped into
the Whole 30 paleo diet and posted weekly updates on this blog because I was so
excited about how well I was eating, how great I was feeling, the weight I was
losing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then I woke up in late January with pain in my foot that
after four months has not gone away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
despite the fact that now my practices are healthier than ever and I’m taking
all the powerful herbs that are supposed to kick Lyme to the curb, I’m afraid I’ll
be in pain for the rest of my life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So if I still had that Goddess of Health, I’d be furious at
her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Forget eight weeks of vomiting—okay,
that’s traumatic for a mom, but that is nothing compared to four months of
chronic pain that I fear will never go away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I did all the right things! </i>I
would yell at her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’m supposed to be young and healthy and feeling great!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And there are people who don’t give a rip
about their health and have never heard the word “paleo” and are running past
me while I limp along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?!</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because that is not how it works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no Goddess of Health except as a
construct of our messed up minds, wanting to be in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To earn favor by following rules.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To judge others who don’t measure up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is no Goddess of Health. And I’m grateful because her
demands are exhausting and she doesn’t make good on her promises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is a God who is sovereign over all
suffering and sickness, who works pain for good purposes that are hard to
understand when you’re in the middle of it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a God who asks us to honor our bodies as temples of
His Spirit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But He doesn’t give us burdensome
rules about how to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He tells us
His Kingdom isn’t about eating and drinking, but about righteousness and peace
and joy in the Spirit (Romans 14:17).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians
3:17).</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He tells us to do right without expectations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Following rules can be all about gaining
control and managing consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
following the Way Who is a Person, Who is Jesus, can mean walking through dark,
scary places, where you wonder if you’ve made a wrong turn, but His Presence
says keep following because He is there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Keep following, even when it doesn’t make sense, one step at
a time.</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-56464054178170274732016-05-21T11:51:00.005-07:002017-10-12T11:04:21.244-07:00Living in Ambiguity: When the Story Doesn’t Go Your Way<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I majored in Literature, and now I teach it part-time, and
part of what I teach (on an elementary or middle school level) are the
ingredients of a good story.</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
A clear problem is introduced early on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There may be a subplot with sub-problems, and
there will most definitely be complications, but we can expect that major
problem to stick with us until everything comes to a climax near the end, when
we find resolution.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJf9JuP7B_RO2gk3V-mvSPuMTowKXc6Ky_W6n7Mny3TGLvfmN12SKvXwgLaUgf6XidtoRlL55w16v6AQ3gaf2OL7cdhrfqMreS9sLA_iesx0bzAFeYnl3tmZhEYjtcuhAGESmuowLEVtU/s1600/IMG_20160322_200330354.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJf9JuP7B_RO2gk3V-mvSPuMTowKXc6Ky_W6n7Mny3TGLvfmN12SKvXwgLaUgf6XidtoRlL55w16v6AQ3gaf2OL7cdhrfqMreS9sLA_iesx0bzAFeYnl3tmZhEYjtcuhAGESmuowLEVtU/s640/IMG_20160322_200330354.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think as a Christian that God is writing a Big Story
through all of history that is like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I think sometimes we can expect our lives and the lives of others to
work out as neatly and concisely as a basic, straightforward plot line.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when instead we find ourselves in what
seems like a random mess, it’s hard to know what to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We can wonder if God is still real, is He still working,
what do we tell other people, how do we package this, how do we answer the most
basic “How are you doing?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since my foot pain started in January, it’s been a
month-by-month story of hope deferred, basically like this:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">January: If Motrin doesn’t
knock this thing out within a week, I’m getting an MRI to tell me exactly
what’s wrong and exactly how long it will take to heal.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">February: The MRI was
normal and I still can’t walk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
must be a stress fracture, which will heal by the end of March.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">March: The Lyme test came
back positive, which unless it was a false positive, which is possible,
means that maybe I don’t have a stress fracture at all, and maybe this is
all Lyme, or maybe Lyme aggravated whatever else this is, and the ambiguity
is driving me nuts, so I will just take Amoxicillin and it will all go
away.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">April: Okay, it improved a
little, but I still have the foot brace and this is still not great.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Am I willing to wean my baby so I can
try stronger Lyme treatment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everyone is telling me different things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe this isn’t Lyme after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I wean my baby and then find out I
didn’t have to, I’m going to be so mad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Okay, I will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sadness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cue Doxycycline and the Cowden protocol.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">May: So I feel a little
better, I think? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can walk without
my foot brace now, yay!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it
really, really hurts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I end up
curled up on the couch crying after I try to go grocery shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this my new normal?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please tell me this is not my new
normal.</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here I sit at the end of May, still not sure what is
wrong, why God allowed it, or what comes next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Part of me does feel like celebrating—it is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so nice</i> to walk without a foot brace and to be able to do little
things I couldn’t do before, like walk out in the back yard with the kids,
carry a laundry basket down the stairs, and even think about attempting a trip
to the grocery store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of me can
honestly say when someone asks, “How are you doing?” that I am doing better,
and this is wonderful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But at the same time, it’s not a conclusive happy ending,
and if this were a book I was reading, I would think, “What?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What was all that for?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That ending really sucked.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can do things, but I can’t do them without
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chronic pain gives this sharpness to
my whole life, and I really don’t like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Okay, that’s the understatement of the year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t like pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anybody?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am afraid sometimes this will be my new normal, and I grieve the loss
of what I always took for granted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Sunday while Ben took our oldest two kids to a LEGO exhibit, I took the baby to Kohls to, incidentally, buy a really comfy pair of
Sketcher shoes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was really excited
about this trip—a month ago I wouldn’t have considered it, and here I was,
being brave and bold and going shopping with my baby in the stroller just like
I used to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a limp and I get tired easily, so I planned to go
straight to what I needed, and then straight out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried not to take any steps I didn’t have
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time I left I was really
sore, and as I pushed the stroller out, I walked past a big ad for some iced
coffee drink at the bookstore next door.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s when it really hit me how much my life had
changed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m off sugar right now for
Lyme, and the Cowden protocol I’m following means I need to take stuff four
times a day without food, which means there are several hours a day when I can’t
eat and am watching the clock for when I take my next dose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The days of casually walking from one store to another and
buying a Frappuccino without thinking about it are over, at least for now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I think about every step, and I think
about every hour, and whether or not I can eat, and what I can eat.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got in the car and drove home, just feeling sad, wishing
this thing had a timeline, wondering if I would ever get back to carefree
shopping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not even that I really
like shopping, especially with little kids in tow, and I think I was missing
some crazy ideal that didn’t even exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My former life wasn’t one
long afternoon wandering through Kohls sipping a Frappuccino?)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPC0_s8Byy8ZCufkjDhMLSL-YTXfpl91a1lwdnevg9SqklHQGCAkzIRqsoorV_EDOdHQCdybQf4j-zrFood3GZiACIIBizw6xA30g4PtKEGG9mrFxJ2mJIybRYP81pPKV3U_m-ahRfaI/s1600/IMG_5487.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHPC0_s8Byy8ZCufkjDhMLSL-YTXfpl91a1lwdnevg9SqklHQGCAkzIRqsoorV_EDOdHQCdybQf4j-zrFood3GZiACIIBizw6xA30g4PtKEGG9mrFxJ2mJIybRYP81pPKV3U_m-ahRfaI/s400/IMG_5487.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right now I’m learning to be in the mess of problems that
aren’t clear problems, and solutions that are a long time in coming, and when
they do come, you’re not sure if they are really solutions or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish I could end this blog post by tying
everything up nicely and talking about the great truth I’ve discovered through
this.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But really I’m just finding that God is Emmanuel, in the
mess with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s not scared of our
mess, and He gives us wisdom when we ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sometimes our outer body is just deteriorating no matter what we do, and
inside we don’t necessarily feel renewed day by day, but God’s Holy Spirit is
doing a work in the dark that we can’t really explain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s best to be honest with each other and with Him, and
realize that His stories in our lives don’t always come in neat packages with
clear beginnings and clear ends and clear one-sentence share-on-Facebook truths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe His ways always have a purpose, but
that doesn’t always mean we figure the purpose out.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So when we ask someone, “How are you doing?” and they say, “I
don’t know,” can we sit in the “I don’t know” with them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can we be okay when we don’t have a clear
list of answers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because Jesus says that
He is the answer, which means the answer is a Person faithful yet unpredictable,
beautiful yet uncontrollable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He is
the answer just by being with us.<br />
<br />
<i>P. S. If you like reading my infrequent blog, I’m honored, and wonder if you would scroll to the top right and where it says “Follow by email” and submit your email address? You won</i><i>’</i><i>t be spammed—you</i><i>’</i><i>ll just get an email in your inbox whenever I do happen to post. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6095227282638922431.post-28154932323963447122016-05-10T11:47:00.001-07:002017-10-12T11:05:20.345-07:00Books I Read in April<h2>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Praying-Life-Connecting-Distracting-World/dp/1600063004/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905721&sr=8-1&keywords=a+praying+life"><i>A Praying Life</i> by Paul Miller</a></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This book was life-changing for me in a way that I hope is
permanent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Last year God deepened my
Bible study through Jen Wilkin’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Women of
the Word</i>, and this year I can see God deepening my prayer life through this
book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It gives both inspiration on why
we pray and practical ideas for how to cultivate a praying life.</div>
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I love how the author is so authentic about his own
struggles, and so thoughtful and intelligent in his perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love stories (clearly) and I loved his
emphasis on story—how God is writing a story, and we participate by praying for
His will.</div>
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My favorite part was Part 4 and especially Chapter 21 since
it particularly addressed unanswered prayers and how we hope in the desert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been praying for physical healing ever
since my foot started hurting in late January, and it hasn’t fully come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book God brought into my life at just
the right time to be a lifeline of hope for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I borrowed it from a friend, but I want to buy my own copy and
re-read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Definitely recommend.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIHa4FMgYyJqtl7yvFXdQkC6DsWSa2_ZGXJnRCMpHdyImSCeJZEFpgiXRfqKRB_iintapKk8T2FVp7jAMgO6CXhgtVFKperyU8zWJxFKkWIkZuPyGYzI_5JG8mEVDdeO4oXyw028W9Ckg/s1600/0509161416.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIHa4FMgYyJqtl7yvFXdQkC6DsWSa2_ZGXJnRCMpHdyImSCeJZEFpgiXRfqKRB_iintapKk8T2FVp7jAMgO6CXhgtVFKperyU8zWJxFKkWIkZuPyGYzI_5JG8mEVDdeO4oXyw028W9Ckg/s400/0509161416.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<h2>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Never-Say-No-Raising-Big-Picture/dp/0781411734/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905749&sr=8-1&keywords=never+say+no"><i>Never Say No</i> by Mark and Jan Foreman</a></h2>
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This book is my new favorite parenting book ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me, the book was framed by how I received
it—I was sitting outside a coffee shop on a warm Sunday afternoon doing Bible
study with a friend from church who is a high school senior, when her parents
who were going for a walk stopped by and gave me a copy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know how you pick certain people to
listen to their advice about certain things?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These are people whose advice about parenting I want to listen to, so I
was excited about this book going in.</div>
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It’s written by the parents of the Switchfoot brothers Tim
and Jon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t listen to much
Switchfoot, but there you go.</div>
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What I liked about the book:</div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">So many “Christian”
parenting philosophies seem to narrowly focus on discipline.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book applies a Christian worldview
to all of life—imagination, technology, home atmosphere, encouraging words,
etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I loved how thorough a vision
it gave, without being in any way legalistic.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">The title itself tells you
it’s on a different track than strict behavior modification authors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never say no?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The authors admit in the preface that
statement is a little exaggerated, but they explain why they chose it—it’s
parenting from a yes mindset, saying yes to who God has created your child
to be and the story He has for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course you need rules, but way more important than rules, you
need relationship.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I love how this book is
written by the mother <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and </i>father,
so you get both a feminine and masculine perspective, and see the oneness
in their marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They trade off
chapters, and they each have a distinctive voice and focus.</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">It has three sections: 1)
working on your own heart as you respond to your family of origin and
think about what kind of parent you want to be, 2) lots of practical
advice for parenting children—each chapter in this section is just a
nugget of wisdom, and 3) letting go as your kids grow older.</li>
</ul>
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So, awesome book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Read it.</div>
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Here is the fiction I read last month:</div>
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<h2><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sweetness-Tears-Novel-Nafisa-Haji/dp/0061780103/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905797&sr=8-1&keywords=the+sweetness+of+tears"><i>The Sweetness of Tears</i> by Nafisa Haji</a></h2>
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Fascinating story told from a number of different
perspectives, both Christian and Muslim, in both America and Pakistan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The author is not a Christian, and though she
tries to write honestly and charitably about the evangelic Christian experience
in America, there were a couple times when I felt like she missed the mark a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is against American military presence in
Iraq and that definitely comes through, a bit heavy-handed for the story.<br />
That said, I really enjoyed this story. I felt like the author
was thoughtful and poetic, and it felt a little like traveling to Pakistan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book also raises important questions
about how we treat our Muslim neighbors, and the intersection of politics and
faith.<br />
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<h2>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Pearl-That-Broke-Its-Shell/dp/0062244760/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905837&sr=8-1&keywords=the+pearl+that+broke+its+shell"><i>The Pearl that Broke Its Shell</i> by Nadia Hashimi</a></h2>
</div>
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And this novel was my traveling to Afghanistan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The chapters alternate between Afghanistan
past and present, told from the perspective of one woman and her ancestor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This story I highly recommend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not graphic, but some of the parts are difficult
to read just because the subject matter is heavy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very eye-opening about what life for women is
like in Afghanistan.</div>
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<h2>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Mysterious-Affair-Styles-Hercule-Mysteries/dp/1434404374/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905874&sr=8-1&keywords=the+mysterious+affair+at+styles"><i>The Mysterious Affair at Styles</i> by Agatha Christie</a></h2>
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Fun and shallow Hercules Poirot book that I read over a
couple days when I was feeling crummy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
like mysteries that aren’t violent but instead mentally puzzling.</div>
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<h2>
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Boston-Girl-Novel-Anita-Diamant/dp/1439199361/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462905913&sr=8-1&keywords=boston+girl"><i>Boston Girl</i> by Anita Diamant</a></h2>
</div>
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This tells the story of a woman born in Boston at the turn
of the 20<sup>th</sup> century.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I really
appreciated this glimpse into what life was like a hundred years ago, for the
daughter of Jewish immigrants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book
spotlights issues like child labor, immigration, and women’s rights, but mostly
it’s just a well-told story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not my
favorite—and I definitely got the feeling that the author’s religious, moral,
and political perspective was very different than mine—but still, a great story
with sympathetic and well-rounded characters.</div>
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This upcoming month I’m excited to read the book <i>Teaching from Rest </i>by Sarah Mackenzie
with some friends of mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would also like
to tackle some more nonfiction books, and I’m starting with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How People Change </i>by Timothy Lane and
Paul Tripp.</div>
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I’ve been feeling kind of yucky, to be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My whole body is fighting the Lyme in my foot
and as a result a lot of the time I feel tired and gross and emotional.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So that might influence the reading this
upcoming month toward books that are either particularly encouraging or particularly
fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me know if you have
suggestions!</div>
Lisa Adamshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12895464970996463784noreply@blogger.com1