I haven’t blogged in a couple weeks because I’ve been … surviving. Breathing in, breathing out, one foot in front of the other, one more day down. Sigh. Sleep. Get up and do it over again.
I know the cliché … I don’t want to survive, I want to thrive, blah, blah, blah … and I think it’s true. I do not want to spend my life in survival mode. I want to spend it really living. But I also know that desire can sometimes become burdensome, to be amazing and to do it all and then some.
I want to give my kids wonderful Christmas memories.
I don’t want my house to be chaos. I would like to actually enjoy that beautiful tree in the middle of all the clutter.
I want my fridge and bathrooms to be sanitary.
I want my kids to stop arguing.
I want to keep on top of work. And meals.
I want Brennan to stop fussing. I think that’s what really pushed me a bit over the edge these last couple weeks—yes, our weekends have been packed with Christmas activities; yes, I have a lot of papers to grade; but in the past couple weeks our happy baby has become a not-so-happy baby.
And I forgot how much stress can escalate when a baby is fussing. And fussing. And fussing.
So right now I’m giving myself permission to be in survival mode. Not to be on top of everything. Just to put one foot in front of the other. I try to remember that parenting is a road. Sometimes that road is smooth. Sometimes it’s a bit bumpy. We just keep going, keep doing what we’re doing, keep trying to be consistent, and know we’ll make it to the other side.
And while we’re working on making it to the other side, here are five things I’ve been loving recently.
Snuggles with Brennan
I’m getting some quality and quantity time with this little man. It’s really a miracle that I haven’t eaten up his cheeks yet. Okay, I know that’s weird. But really, isn’t he the cutest? Never mind the fussing. He is my baby, and I know one day I’m going to miss this.
Ant Man on a New TV
I have survived my whole life up until this point using antiquated TVs (as in, cube-shaped TVs, not sleek rectangles mounted on the wall). We’ve been on the lookout for a good big-screen TV for awhile, and this week Ben found a good deal on Craigs List. Never mind that it might not be super snazzy compared to the newest on the market right now—it is pretty amazing for us.
So we celebrated by getting Ant Man from Redbox. As superhero movies go, this one was really fun—good themes, lots of humor, nice action, pretty clean. I liked.
Our Church’s Nativity
Last weekend thousands of people attended our church’s nativity where my husband was playing a wise man. My contribution was taking care of the kids single-handedly for the weekend so he could do it. I took them through the nativity on Saturday evening and they loved it. I’m so proud of our church for all their effort, and for how it comes together, not only to share this beautiful Christmas story with our community, but also to show them what a Church looks like in action—all working together so seamlessly.
I am not at all craftsy. So I bought a gingerbread house kit from Costco rather than try my own from scratch. I still had this moment of overwhelmed panic when we were getting started, a little late, with Brennan awake instead of napping like I planned, and all the decorations and frosting tubes looking a bit overwhelming. But we got over the hump, with some help from my sister Anna, and the kids had tons of fun making this.
It’s been unseasonably warm for December here. And though my kids are wanting a white Christmas, and I’m hoping for some good snow sometime, at least for now it’s nice to be able to get outside and enjoy it, and even walk to the park today!
So, that’s my trying to look at the bright side of a couple rough weeks. How about you? What have you been loving this week?